SUBURBAN SENSHI EPISODE SIX ADDITION B: "Plea Bargain" By Dr. Xadium (drxadium@DEATHTOSPAMgate.net) Naoko Takeuchi is hereby thanked for her involuntary contribution to this... whatever this is right here. FADE IN BACKSTAGE, SUBURBAN SENSHI PRODUCTION OFFICES Haruka stood alone in the backstage area, a golden halo over her head. Looking up at it, she experimentially nudged it with her right index finger. It bobbed back and forth, wobbling lazily. "I hate this thing," Haruka griped. "Unfortunately, you're dead," Hotaru said, walking by. "It comes with the territory." "Wait!" Haruka said as Hotaru continued past, trying to put a restraining hand on her shoulder, instead managing to swipe right through her. "I don't get it... I was solid last time?" "That was before you broke into the author's office and tried to use the Space Sword Blaster to make sure your character was alive in the season premiere." Hotaru shrugged. "You should have read the script." Haruka fumed. "So now what? He won't give me a script until shooting day. What's an insubstantial dead ex-senshi supposed to do with her time?" Haruka futiley tried to grab a slice of Pizza from the craft services table. "You could always go haunt Michiru's trailer and try to get her to make pottery with you," Hotaru said dryly, disappearing down a corridor. KAIOH MICHIRU'S TRAILER "Michi--?" Haruka said in her most humble, supplicative voice. Michiru looked around confused. She could sense Haruka's ki, but she couldn't see anything-- and the Aqua Mirror was in the shop for repairs and bacteriological decontamination. Michiru walked out of the trailer, passing through a frustrated Haruka. "I've gotta do something," Haruka muttered, hovering several feet off the ground. "Why don't you forget about her?" Nephlite snapped, rising up from within the ground next to Haruka, a halo over his head. "Because of your annoying 'better half's rampage the other day, I've been officially declared dead." Haruka looked over at the Dark General and shook her head. "In your case you got what was coming to you, punk." Nephlite scowled. "Well at least I have the satisfaction of knowing you'll be stuck out here, eternally frustrated and unable to talk to the one you love." He laughed diabolically. "No way!" Haruka said angrily. "I'll think of--" she paused as she saw Naru walking towards Michiru's trailer. "That's it!" She grinned and flitted over to Naru. "Hey!" Nephlite yelled. "What are you doing, Ten'ou?! Get back here!" With super speed, Haruka rushed forward and slammed into Naru, fusing with her body. "Watch where you're sticking your essence!" Nephlite roared. "That's MY woman!" Naru suddenly started moving in a jerky fashion, like a clockwork soldier, staggering up the stairs to the front door of Michiru's trailer. "Yes?" Michiru said, responding to a knock on her door. "Michi," Naru said in a halting voice. "I'm so glad I gots dis chance ta talk to ya." Michiru tilted her head curiously. Only Haruka ever called her "Michi." "Naru-san?" "No, its me," Naru said slowly. "Haruka." Michiru started. "Haruka?" "WHAP!" Naru suddenly slapped Michiru on the cheek. "HARUKA!" Michiru yelled angrily. "You marked my face! The classical beauty that launched a thousand concerts! I'll NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" "Auggh!" Haruka shook her head as she recovered from being forcibly expelled fron Naru's body and thrown through several layers of pavement. Nephlite had jumped in and taken over, slapping Michiru. Within seconds, Nephlite came flying out as Naru's body was hurled from the trailer amidst a blast of supercharged water. "Why you--" Haruka began, lurching at Nephlite, succeeding only in passing straight through him. "DIE!" Nephlite yelled, hurling black ki straight through Haruka. "This is futile," Haruka muttered, sighing. "As long as we're dead, we can't kill each other." "This stinks," Nephlite concurred. "We need to do something about this." "I know," Haruka said. "I saw this anime once, it was called Ghost in the--" * * * DOCTOR XADIUM'S COMPUTER SCREEN Notepad opened up seemingly all by itself. >FILE | OPEN | SUBURBAN SENSHI 07 - Surviving the Game.txt The cursor began to move. TEASER "IT IS NOT YOUR TIME," the light boomed. "IT IS TIME TO RETURN TO THE MORTAL WORLD. FOR THE TWO OF YOU MUST LIVE, TO BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE" Suddenly clicks could be heard on Xadium's Keyboard. ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^ What? was typed on the screen. "Nice try, guys," said Xadium. >DEL "SUBURBAN SENSHI 07 - Surviving the Game.txt" Haruka and Nephlite's electronic personas looked at each other in terror. >MOVE haruka.dat > dev/null >MOVE nephlite.dat > dev/null Xadium sighed and opened his FTP program. Little did he notice Outlook Express opening in the background, or the mass global E-mail marked "MAKE MONEY FAST!!!" being composed in the background... FADE OUT FEAR NOT! For Season Two of Suburban Senshi is on its way in a few weeks! As a special present for waiting, we present the first stage Suburban Senshi website, where all the episodes that have been posted so far can be found. It will be updated in the near future, so for now, kick back, relax, and enjoy the episodes that have come before! The URL is http://dr_xadium.tripod.com/subsenshi !! Visit now! Visit often!