SUBURBAN SENSHI"
EPISODE 20 - "THE ONCE AND FUTURE THING: A CONCLUSION"
Indigo (naitumea@spamsucksgmail.com)
Naoko Takeuchi is hereby thanked for her involuntary contribution to this fanfic, and Dr. Xadium is thanked too. Euri is thanked for the satellite senshi, and…everyone else is thanked for whatever contribution they have.
TOMOE’S LAB, 2003
Leaning over her Ferrari, Haruka twitched as she continued fiddling around with the Engine of the car, her wrench in her right hand as she leaned on the car, tapping her wrench lightly atop the hood of the car.
“Damnit,” She muttered, as she finally took the wrench and did something with it. Tomoe poked his head out of his lab for a moment.
“TRYING TO INSTALL PORN INTO YOUR FERARRI, HARUKA-KUN?” The infamously insane professor commented, and Haruka shook her head.
“I’m trying to figure out how to make a time machine.” She muttered, then continued to take apart the engine piece by piece. Tomoe watched.
“WANT HELP?” He asked, and she shook her head. His smile grew more and more maniacal, “I’LL BET YOU YOUR PORN STASH THAT YOU’LL HAVE TO ASK ME FOR HELP.”
She looked at him, “And what do I get?”
“THE HALF YOU’RE MISSING. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He continued laughing, and Haruka sweat dropped.
“So that’s where my girls gone wild DVDs went…Alright, you‘re on!”
“MUAHAHAHAHAHA!” Tomoe’s laughter rang through the area as he returned to his lab, and Haruka continued the assault on the Ferrari, when she paused.
“Oh s[BLEEP]t…do I even know what I’m doing?”
CRYSTAL PALACE COURTYARD
Sailor Io stared at the sky as she leaned back in the courtyard, kicking back as she began to stretch idly. Being the leader of the Jupiter satellite senshi commonly meant that she was constantly working, and never had time for things she wanted to do, like…relax…
“Thank god for days off,” She muttered, “Now, when do I get one of those?”
“Ne ne, Indigo-chan,” a girl sat next to her, “Have you seen Makoto-sama around?”
“No,” Indigo replied, rubbing her eyes, as she sat back up, “Why, Europa? Do you intend to dress up as her again and stalk around?”
“…No…” She muttered, rubbing the back of her head, “It’s just been quiet.”
“Well, duh,” Io said, “The cosplay brigade is probably doing what they always do, ‘OH! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!?! I’LL HAVE A COOKIE!’ Blah, blah, blah. Same thing every damn day.”
There was a silence, and Europa sat down, “Indigo-chan…I miss Haak.”
“Like you always do.” Io pointed out, now examining her gloved hand out of complete and utter boredom.
“Don’t you ever miss Shinji-kun?” Europa looked to her better, who had stopped, trying to think of a way to answer that question, when something began to buzz. Io snapped out of it, touching her forehead for a moment, and was in a complete trance for awhile, then opened her eyes, and sighed.
“Ne?” Europa was confused as Indigo stood, looking to the girl.
“Europa, go get Callisto and Ganymede. There’s an uprising going on. We need to make sure they don’t enter the Crystal palace.”
Europa nodded, and got up, “Hai!” She then began to run the other way. Io sighed, hand to her left eye.
“Damnit, Euri, why’d you have to mention him?”
THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE CRYSTAL PALACE, 2999 A.S.
“Hssssssssssh,” The twisted laughter of a pink haired girl creeped through the room as she watched the cosplay renegade that Jedite had taken over.
“Hshshshshshshsh, fak, I went mi mamo-chun.” She grinned, and was about to walk toward them, when someone appeared behind her.
“Small lady, Shouldn’t you be back in your quarters?” A guard said, and Chibiusa grinned.
“Hshshshshshshshsh, yew mai net bi mamo-chun, bit yewll dew,” She then latched herself to his leg, and the Guard let out a scream of agony. All that could be heard was the laughter of the princess as the guard tried to run on a limp, though failing, as the grammatically incorrect moans of the young child began rise as the screams of agony continued.
CRYSTAL PALACE CORRIDORS
The guard who was on a limp promptly managed to trip, the pink haired princess still humping his leg.
“Ew hshshshshshshsh yeshshshshhshshsh…Dis iz sew mach fan…” The guard ignored her, as he finally opened the door, flabbergasted.
“My…Queen…We….found….your……..daughter,” he then collapsed, the princess still going at it.
“EW YAS YAS YAAASSSHHSHSHSHSHHS!” She continued the action, Hotaru looking horrified, while Minako sweat dropped.
“Uh…That’s…” Hotaru couldn’t get the words out, so Minako just nodded. Artemis shivered.
“Hay bichez! horatru-chun, wut u dewin hear?” The princess asked, and Hotaru sweat dropped. There was an interruption as the doors opened and a few guards burst in, all stopping to look at Artemis.
“None of you MOVE!” A familiar voice yelled, and Artemis could almost be seen going a few shades paler.
“Lu-Luna?”
“That’s right,” the cat said, the guards parting so that Luna could walk through, “Where have you been? You have a LOT of explaining to do!”
“Wait! I demand a retest!” Artemis yelled, and looked to Minako, “My queen, let me have a retest.”
There was much contemplation, and she nodded, “But this time, I demand to be there to see the Canal result.”
Hotaru promptly whispered the correction in Minako’s ear, “Final result.”
“…Final result,” She corrected herself, twitching. The guards just nodded, surrounded Luna again, and lead their queen to the testing room. Minako scooped Artemis into her arms, and the three followed.
TOKYO, 2999 A.S
“Wait! Rei!” Yuuichiro followed what he believed to be his love for all eternity. The girl, meanwhile, had again and again tried to ignore him, keeping her pepper spray ready incase he tried to touch her. She was used to the stalkers by now. After all, she *was* the infamous Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon star. Screw Sawai Miyuu, she was soooo the star of that show. Everyone loved her. Hell, the only reason why she never got a movie and Komatsu Ayaka, did was because she turned down the offer for…other things. She would’ve had the rejected contract, but that blasted always hungry Hama Chisaki was always looking for something to eat, and ended up EATING the contract thinking it was napkins for her burger. She sighed. Details, details, details. None which ever mattered as far as she was concerned.
But this guy wouldn’t get out of her hair… Letting out a sigh, she stood there, waiting for him to come closer. Just a little closer.
“Rei! Thank god I found you!” Yuuichiro ran up to her, and she looked at him, grinning evilly, sprayed him with the pepper spray, and ran. Far. Yuuichiro rubbed his eyes, and then ran after the girl, “Come back, Rei!”
But she didn’t have time for this. Not right now.
TOMOE’S LAB, 2003
“Oh s[BLEEP]t,” Haruka stared at the ferrari as it began to rumble. The Ferrari promptly turned into a rather large mecha. Haruka blinked, her mouth wide open, as Tomoe stuck his head out.
“NEED HELP YET?” Tomoe looked at the mecha, but Haruka shook her head, snapping out of it.
“No, I’ve got this covered! See, this just needs the time machine.” She grinned, and Tomoe just looked at her.
“ALRIGHT, SUIT YOURSELF. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He then returned into the house, and Haruka sighed.
“I will get my porn back!”
CRYSTAL PALACE GATE I, 2999 A.S
“Alright, Callisto, you know the drill.” Sailor Io said, as she watched the hyper girl jump up and down multiple times.
“Hai, hai!” She then began to concentrate, letting her power create the vines. Io, Ganymede, and Europa watched, while Callisto began to chant, but they were looking ahead. To their own horror, the entire city had been demolished to rubble by some explosions.
TOKYO, 2999 A.S
“YES!” Jedite watched as his army scrambled around, and things seemed to explode, not realizing that it was actually one cosplay senshi adding as many plasma grenades to buildings as possible causing everything to collapse. Soon, the entire city was brought to rubble, and the single senshi….was out of plasma grenades, or any other sort of explosive. Jedite hadn’t noticed, and continued to laugh.
“NOW MY SENSHI! LET’S GO TAKE OVER THAT CASTLE!”
CRYSTAL PALACE GATE I, 2999 A.S
A few vines began to form, weaving to create a barrier. She continued to concentrate, yet what she couldn’t see was that the cosplay brigade was marching down, a dark figure looming above them.
“Oh crap….” Io muttered, “Satellite senshi, split up!”
The three ran in different directions as Callisto continued the chant. The vines began to create a barrier three times the height of the tallest cosplayer perhaps. By the time she was about to create another layer, the vines were busted down as the brigade charged, and Callisto was slammed into, going flying across Crystal Tokyo.
“AIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!” Was the last thing heard from Callisto as she was flying above the entire palace, landing just in the royal dumpster. A scream of disgusted agony was the last thing heard from Callisto.
CRYSTAL PALACE SCIENCE LAB
“Alright, Diana, lay down,” one of the royal guards watched as Diana laid down on the sheet, and took out a needle, “Now this may hurt a tic…”
“MEW! OW!” Diana mewed painfully, but they pulled away quickly, “Now, we’ll just run a quick test…”
Hotaru watched as the little cat seemed to begin licking itself, hoping the child was indeed of Artemis and Luna…Even so, they waited, and Minako moved to Hotaru, lowering to whisper in her ear.
“Hopefully nothing is corrupted, or this may be really rad….”
“…*bad*.”
“Moh, that too.”
Luna, meanwhile, watched nervously, before trotting away when no one looked. Artemis did catch a glance, and pawed at his owner, she looked down as he pointed in the direction Luna headed to, and nodded, promptly excusing herself to follow the cat. The girl grabbed Chibiusa by the back of the dress, and followed.
“Come on,” She took the grammatically incorrect child, and began to run after them.
CRYSTAL PALACE: SERENITY’S BEDROOM
“Moh, why are we here?” Minako blinked, and looked around. She was now confused as the white cat looked up.
“Minako, I think Luna’s hiding something…” He whispered, and Minako sweatdropped.
“Moh…Alright, Artemis, If Luna’s got the bat in the bag…”
“Cat.”
“That, too. Anyway, if she’s got the rat in the bag….”
“Cat.”
“Moh! Stop correcting me! Anyway, if she’s got the hat in the bag…”
“CAT!”
“…Then we have to go and open the bag to let out the mat!”
“Cat, Minako, Cat.”
“…That too.”
There was some more speaking in the room, as Hotaru stood behind the opening of the doorway, hand over Chibiusa’s mouth, listening.
“My queen, they’ll find out at this rate…”
“Yes, I know they will, Luna. But how can they believe a faulty story if they find out that the one witnessing it was not Serenity at all?”
“You mean…”
“Yes. While this is just the most WONDERFUL life anyone could live, I think Minako needs a bit of controversy, then I’ll just punish her to continue the job.” She snickered gleefully. Minako, meanwhile, was beginning to grow angry.
“But what if she rebels?” Luna whispered, and Serenity laughed softly.
“It won’t be a surprise if the outers sent Hotaru here to corrupt the inners. Turn them all against me. After all, I own the perfect crystal. I can end their lives in an instant. And Setsuna just wants Mamo-chan. Someone she’ll never have. She could get the outers to attack. All such perfect plans, yes, but they have a fault. I’m the one with the power.”
Luna let out a gasp, and Minako’s curiosity heightened.
“My Queen…!”
“Yes, Luna. With this, I will be all powerful.” No one will be able to stand in my way. I will reign forever as their goddess, and all they can possibly do, is whatever I wish.”
“But…is that too drastic?”
“I’m only going to use it on the inners. Starting with Minako….”
All the blood in Minako’s face was gone as the silver lining that separated the bed from them, and there Serenity sat, a maniacal grin on her face.
“Hello, Minako-chan. Or shall I say…” She held up a bracelet, “Sailor Animate Venus.”
“Serenity….you’re that sick…” She backed away, and began to run.
“You can run, but you can never hide, Minako-chan.” She said in a singsong voice, continuing to walk. Hotaru began to run, pulling Chibiusa with her.
“Wat da fak wuz dat abutt?” Chibiusa asked, as Hotaru ran.
“Serenity has a starseed extractor. She’s going to make the four animate senshi.”
“Hloy sit, horatru-chun, dat’s faked pu!”
“Obviously. We need to warn someone, NOW!”
TOKYO, 2999 A.S
“Rei! Rei! Come back!” Yuuichiro yelled, as she continued to run. She needed to get away from this creep, and fast. Quickly turning, she began to look around.
“Come on 2-4-60
Azabu Juban…where on earth is that house.” She saw the area and grinned.
“Bingo!” She forced open the door, and headed straight for the lab. Yuuichiro followed, but stopped at the top of the stairs, walking down slowly. He could hear the evil laughter of Tomoe, as he saw the girl panting heavily. Her body seemed to shift suddenly, and Yuuichiro’s eyes went wide.
That wasn’t Rei. That sure as hell wasn’t Rei.
“HOW WAS YOUR DAY, KALONITE-KUN?” Tomoe laughed evily, and the clone smiled.
“It was wonderful, Hakase, but I’m afraid someone was following me.”
“OH? WAS IT A FEMALE? DO THEY WANT TO PLAY TWISTER? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Yuuichiro grew pale, but the clone looked directly at him, “I think he wants me, Hakase.”
“OH, BUT HE CAN’T HAVE YOU, KALONITE.” He looked to Yuuichiro and grinned, “AH, YUUICHIRO-KUN! I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN AT LEAST A THOUSAND YEARS! HOW ARE YOU? WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE REI?”
Backing away, he tripped when he said that last word, “Rei! She’s here?” He nodded curtly.
“YES, SHE’S IN THE BACK ROOM, MEDITATING. BUT SHE CAN’T LEAVE. IF YOU WANT TO STAY WITH HER, YOU’LL HAVE TO STAY IN THE BACK ROOM FOREVER! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!”
He ran past the doctor and the clone, forcing himself into the room, and locking it, looking to the fragile miko in complete meditation.
Tomoe just smiled, “HE’LL BE ENJOYING MY REI-CLONE FOR A LONG TIME, NOW…”
TOMOE’S LAB, 2003
“DAMNIT!” Haruka yelled, “Hakase! You win, go take my f[BLEEP]king PORN!”
Tomoe stuck his head out, “REALLY? ALRIGHT.”
He tossed her an Engine, “PUT THAT IN YOUR CAR AND IT’LL WORK.”
Haruka stared at it, and grinned, “Great…” The car, meanwhile, was parading around as a mecha still, and Haruka sweatdropped.
“Now to get it in the car…”
CRYSTAL PALACE GATE II, 2999 A.S
“Alright, Ganymede.” Io looked at the large sign that said ‘Cosplay crowd control’ and Ganymede was holding up a few glowsticks, “We’re just going to…stand aside and watch…”
Io began to run toward the third gate, Europa following, and Ganymede sighed, “They don’t trust me, do they?”
The cosplay brigade began to arrive quickly, and Ganymede grinned, holding her glowsticks, “All cosplayers, this way! This way, please!” With the reminder of Booster gold in her head, she continued to wave, yet the cosplay brigade just ignored her, and…SLAM.
“OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Ganymede went flying, causing a hole in the palace as she landed in the Crystal Closet. Io and Europa sweatdropped.
“Europa, there’s one last gate. Let’s go. NOW.”
CRYSTAL PALACE CORRIDOR
“Fak, I dun wunna saty hare new mure,” Chibiusa said, and Hotaru just ignored her, continuing to run. The sound of the Queen was more what had her fearful than the grammatically incorrect princess trying to make her head explode.
“Come on, Mina-chan, it won’t be the end of the world,” Serenity cackled darkly, “Just the end of your world.” Minako just ignored her, running as fast as she possibly could, Artemis still in her arms. Finally, Hotaru caught up to her, letting go of Chibiusa.
“Sempai,” She panted, trying to keep up, “There’s a way to find a fault in her plan.”
“Ne? What is it?”
“Come back home with us. Then she can’t make you her slave.”
“…But what if she tries to swallow me back in grime?”
“*Follow*…*time*…and she probabally won’t. Surely that crystal has limits.”
“I dunno anymore. That crystal does ponders!”
“*Wonders*,” Hotaru corrected, “But we need to find the TURDIS…”
Just then, a Ferrari seemed to appear from nowhere, and Hotaru blinked as Haruka got out, “What the hell?”
“Haruka-poppa?” Hotaru questioned, then could hear the sounds of feet tapping an maniacal laughter, shook her head, and pushed past her, “Get in, Minako-chan!”
“Woah, we’re taking Neko, too?”
“Yes, Haruka-poppa,” Hotaru got in the back seat, and Haruka took the driver’s.
“So, Neko, what’s with the new dress? And ondagos, too? They the new rage in Crystal Tokyo or something?”
“No, but can we go now?”
Haruka nodded, and hit the gas, “So, where’s Jed?”
“Probably in Crystal Tokyo,” Hotaru commented, “I’m sure you can drive to the front entrance or something.”
“Right!”
CRYSTAL PALACE GATE III
“Alright Europa, Here’s what we do. I’ll create four magma walls. What I need you to do is use a Tormenting Blizzard to freeze the magma so that it won’t kill them.”
“Right.” Europa nodded to her sempai, and Io watched the cosplay brigade come forward at a fast pace.
“Get ready, Europa.”
“Ne, Indigo-chan, what about the question I asked earlier?”
“NOW IS NOT THE TIME! LAVA WALL!”
Euri pouted but sighed, “TORMENTING BLIZZARD!”
The two attacks combined, and a large wall of obsidian appeared. Io smiled, “Come on.”
The two ran to the side, and did the same, and again to a third side, not noticing that a ferrari had driven around them.
Jedite, meanwhile, was laughing maniacally, when a Ferrari appeared, and Haruka stuck her head out.
“YO JED! GET IN THE DAMN CAR!” She yelled, but Jedite ignored her, looking to the dome.
“GO MY SENSHI!” He laughed, “ATTACK! THE DOME!”
It was then that a look of complete shock came across him. Between all of the holograms and fake roses, all which reflected, some nerf balls, a few rubber crabs, some fake bubbles, and a few squirt guns, he realized something.
“Oh…” He paused, “s[BLEEP]t…”
Haruka just laughed, while Hotaru sighed in frustration, opening the window of the car, “GET IN THE CAR OR I’LL CASTRATE YOU WITH MY GLAIVE!”
Jedite was in the back seat faster than you could say ‘My balls are made of titanium, b[BLEEP]ch.’
“Alright, back to the past.” Haruka grinned, looking to her dashboard, “Sucks this thing can’t go mecha.”
“Why would it, Ten’ou?” Jedite snorted, and Haruka shook her head.
“Nevermind. I feel like we’re missing something…Oh well, must’ve been nothing.”
And they returned to the past
TOMOE’S LAB, 2003
“Home sleep home!”
“*Sweet*”
The three got out of the car, and let out a sigh of relief, as they looked at the house, that had apparently been rebuilt.
“Uh…That’s weird.”
“I GOT BORED WHEN HARUKA-KUN WENT TO THE FUTURE, SO I DECIDED TO USE A HOUSE REBUILDING MACHINE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Tomoe opened the door, then continued to laugh. There was a silence, and the three shrugged, entering the house.
Meanwhile, a girl came out
from beneath the Ferrari, pigtails covered in black grease, “hsssssssssh, I
ned a shawur.”
CRYSTAL PALACE, 2999 A.S
Serenity sighed, looking at
the bracelets, “Hm…it seems I may actually have to use this…”
She turned to Luna, “Get me my
Tiara, and I promise you no one will ever know about Yaten.”
The cat nodded, and ran off, while Serenity laughed softly, “Oh, where is Mako-chan, now? I have a bit of a present for her…”
TOMOE’S LAB
Yuuichiro screamed in horror, “You’re not Rei!”
Tomoe’s laughter rang through all of Tokyo that day…