#1141: “Highlander 5: The Sickening”

[00:24] *** Fri Feb 23 2007 - LOGGING START ***
[00:24] *** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
[00:24] *** Topic is - They were right-- there CAN only be one. -
[00:24] *** Set by @Dr. X on Fri Feb 23 00:24 2007




[00:24] <FireFly_9> ...
[00:25] <// J_Daito //> What's with that look Tomoe the Younger, you saw the Ten'ou / Kaioh honeymoon cruise tape?
[00:25] <FireFly_9> I now know that it IS impossible to make an acceptable Highlander Sequel.
[00:25] <// J_Daito //> Huh
[00:26] <FireFly_9> Thanks to Minako-sempai's connection I was "treated" to a viewing of a leaked copy of Highlander (5): The Source.
[00:26] <FireFly_9> The gaping look of Dumbfounded SHOCK you see on my face is the blasted result.
[00:27] <FireFly_9> Greanted, Davis / Panzer have said this is not the final cut of the film. Well it had BETTER not be.
[00:27] <// J_Daito //> That bad?
[00:28] <FireFly_9> I have found good things to say about ALL the Highlander Sequels. I ADORE Highlander 2, believe it or not.
[00:28] <FireFly_9> I can say ALMOST NOTHING good about this one.
[00:29] <FireFly_9> MacLeod, Methos, Dawson and the new fellow, Reggie, were on form and excellent as ever. But their talents were WASTED.
[00:29] <FireFly_9> All their good acting was sandwiched in between cheessy CGI fights with a villian who started off menacing but became a babbling IDIOT - a Loki archetype gone WRONG.
[00:31] <FireFly_9> Most of the superb martial arts skill of Adrian Paul was lost in long shots with no-name thugs who mattered nothing to the plot.
[00:31] <FireFly_9> All the "boss" fights were done with such fast motion blur that you could see no action at all. There was no SKILL on display even though you could see it in Adrian Paul if you looked past the CGI HAZE.
[00:32] <FireFly_9> I once said Highlander 4 cheated us because the trailer promised magic and sorcery and delivered none. WELL I WAS WRONG.
[00:32] <FireFly_9> This movie was ALL magic and SORCERY and it was BOLLOCKS.
[00:32] <FireFly_9> In four we at least had Adrian Paul vs Donnie Yen. This had no such marvelous set piece.
[00:33] <FireFly_9> It was 20% genuine emotion ad pure classic TV highlander and 80% garbage.
[00:33] <FireFly_9> Some might say I'm condemnuing them for not staying close enough to the cliched formula. NO.
[00:34] <FireFly_9> I was expecting run-ins with gangs of immortals. Group vs Group. Not immortals vs. Mad Max style mortal thugs who do nothing but eat screen time in meaningless chases of no skill.
[00:35] <FireFly_9> And my god that ending
[00:36] <FireFly_9> Highlander has always tried to have SOME grounding in reality for everyone but the main cast of heroes and villains. It was our world, with a secret underbelly where the immortals roamed. It was subtle and "cool".
[00:37] <FireFly_9> In this world of Highlander 5 we have GLOBAL DESTRUCTION BEFOREHAND FOR NO REASON AT ALL. Two at least TRIED to explain the state of the planet.
[00:38] <// J_Daito //> Well it's just post apocalyptic, that's not too far-fetched.
[00:38] <FireFly_9> WHAT ABOUT STARS PULLING THEMSELVES OUT OF ORBIT. PLANETS HOVERING NEAR EARTH.
[00:38] <// J_Daito //> ...
[00:38] <FireFly_9> Yes. They threw EVERYTHING OUT THE WINDOW.
[00:39] <FireFly_9> The ending was a VERY BAD CGI rendered ACID TRIP (and the stars pulling themselves out of orbit was not part of it, that's actually what happened in SPACE to START the movie. Yes. )
[00:40] <FireFly_9> I tought Highlander 4 was bad, but an acceptable adventure if you got over the fact the main villian did nothing. I thought 5 would be a vast improvement.
[00:41] <FireFly_9> Speaking as a fan of the movies and the TV series I now say NO.
[00:41] <FireFly_9> This movie SHAMES and SHOCKS me. I do not know how they were able to write such patent GARBAGE.
[00:42] <FireFly_9> No re-cut can save this film. If it does I will... I will...
[00:42] <// J_Daito //> You will do a nude pictorial with only a carrot and two tomatoes to salvage your dignity.
[00:42] <FireFly_9> YES.
[00:42] <FireFly_9> THAT IS MY SOLEMN VOW.
[00:43] <FireFly_9> If, upon seeing the final cut I am forced to recant this review, I will pose NUDE with only a carrot and two tomatoes to protect my dignity.
[00:44] <FireFly_9> But I say now. Highlander is finished. I don't know who in their right mind would bankroll a sequel to this.
[00:44] <FireFly_9> I feel so sorry for the actors involved. You did your best. This wasn't you. This was the writers all the way.
[00:44] <FireFly_9> I'm sorry this was your final entry into the series.
[00:44] <FireFly_9> You deserved better.
[00:45] <// J_Daito //> Harsh
[00:45] <FireFly_9> AND OH GOD THE MUSIC
[00:46] <FireFly_9> they redid Princes of the universe in METAL. That was GOOD. The singer was clearly trying to sing it as a Power Ballad. This was BAD.
[00:46] <FireFly_9> And at the end of the movie they redid another queen song, damned if I can remember the name right now. IT WAS HORRIBLE.
[00:47] <FireFly_9> I was almost crying.
[00:47] <FireFly_9> They should have just licensed the original Queen tracks because they embarassed themselves.
[00:49] <FireFly_9> https://www.myspace.com/georgekallis <-- he did the instrumentals. Most of these are good . You can hear them here.
[00:51] <FireFly_9> https://www.highlanderworldwide.com/music/highlanderalbum.html <-- scroll to the bottom and you can find samples of the horrible remixes. Thank god they are short, I could not take the full length nonsense.
[00:52] <FireFly_9> My blood pressure is rising
[00:52] <// J_Daito //> Log off, Tomoe
[00:52] <FireFly_9> Jedite my mouth is not closing
[00:52] <FireFly_9> I think this look of utter shock is forever engraved upon my face
[00:53] <// J_Daito //> You just had a massive shock to the system
[00:53] <FireFly_9> God the other song was named who wants to live forever
[00:54] <FireFly_9> Well that song always depressed me in the proper form so this horrible remix actually makes me feel better because it cannot move me to do anything but VOMIT
[00:54] * FireFly_9 is away: I will take the good where I can find it *vomit*
[00:54] <// J_Daito //> good girl
[00:54] *** Disconnected
[00:54] *** Fri Feb 23 2007 - LOGGING END ***