2346. From goths to planets! A smashing good time!! 09/21/23
2345. Modern Metaphysical musings! On Reincarnation and Undying love!!09/15/23
2344. Selling out! Various degrees of Selling out!! 09/14/23
2343. Embrace the Stupid! How to trap the Author - You'll Swear by it!! 09/13/23
2342. It's not easy to walk on water! P(r)ay to the Moon Goddess for Great Success!!09/07/23
2341. The best part of waking up! It's Caffeine in your cup [noodle]!!09/06/23
2340. Sasuke, the original Ninja Sex party! And Hotaru, is that how you relax?!08/31/23
2339. The many rabbits of the moon! Historical blackmail revealed!! 08/28/23
2338. The Pain of Pondering Plots! Suburban Senshi, a Tale of Three Cities ends now!! Happy 21st Anniversary!!!08/25/23
2337. Lingering on that Cliffhanger! The Pain of Hard Cheese!! 08/24/23
2336. Orichimaru: It's what's for Dinner! Also, Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities, Episode 12!!08/23/23
2335. Naruto and Rei-chan have something in common!? Believe it!! 08/22/23
2334. The future of Suburban Senshi's Blog Revealed?? Also, Part Eleven of "Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!!" 08/21/23
2333. It's good caculation! Episode 10 of "Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities" is here!! 08/20/23
2332. Better than Pizza at the push of a button? It's Episode Nine of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!! 08/18/23
2331. Its bad information! Also, Episode Eight of "Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities" is here!! 08/16/23
2330. Stop mixing your fluids with things! Also, it's Episode 7 of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!! 08/13/23
2329. Why sleep? It's Episode Six of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!!08/11/23
2328. It's the morning! Time for Part FIVE of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!!08/08/23
2327. Worst piece of SubSen lore ever?? Also Part Four of "Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities" is here!!08/04/23
2326. Mister Stark she doesn't feel so good! It's Episode Three of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!!08/03/23
2325. It's a little big problem! Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities, Episode 2! 08/02/23
2324. Haruka is a child! Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities, Part I!!07/31/23
2323. The Future starts now! Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities - Prologue!! 07/28/23
2322. Explained! The NARUTO!!07/25/23
2321. Portents! Signs! Problems! The next arc is about to begin!! 07/23/23
2320. Portent for the future? A Procrastinator's Promise!! 06/20/23
2319. A Parent's Pride! It's Father's Day!! 06/18/23
2318. Someone get than man a mech! His Heroic Dreams!! 05/06/23
2317. It's pizza time! Fun for all good girls and boys!! 05/05/23
2316. Trek into Awesome! Make it so!! (Star Trek Picard Season 3 Spoilers)05/01/23
2315. It's Magic! Daddy's Elixir of Love!! 04/18/23
2314. Forbidden Lore dump! In which Haruka takes a dump on Lore!! 04/08/23
2313. It's Cheesy fun! A quick review of Mad Heidi!!04/08/23
2312. Ding Ding Ding! Vince is back in the ring!! 04/04/23
2311. Creepy Moustache Sky Bikes! It's WrestleMania Weekend!!04/02/23
2310. Dinosaurs, Spaghetti and Big Cats, oh my! 03/31/23
2309. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!!03/30/23
2308. The computers are taking over! AI, AI, AI!!03/30/23
2307. It's Quality Lifestyle Choice! Bootleg Sailor Moon!!03/28/23
2306. From WWE Universe to the Metaverse! Random Ramblings Abound!!03/27/23
2305. [Politics] When wishes for "justice" turn reality into fantasy! Can we trust anything any more??03/23/23
2304. Is it 2003 again? A heartfelt wish for a better tomorrow!! 03/20/23
2303. The One is back?? Review: Matrix Resurrections!!03/19/23
2302. Power up! Review: Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero!!03/17/23
2301. The future is frightening! Predicting the AI Apocalypse!! 03/16/23
2300. Questionable life choices! Haruka's shocking Turn!!03/15/23
2299. Conspiracies! Fraud! Desperation! It's all about dat Moon!!03/14/23
2298. Let's try this again, again~! Blogging without limits!!03/13/23
2297. This fight gives you wood! Witness: HIDARI!! 03/12/23
2296. Lighting up the stage once again! Sailor Scene Stealers!!01/31/23
2295. AI AI AI friends don't let friends let AI write for them01/16/23
2295.
2294. Burdensome Destiny! A Mother's love!! 12/29/22
2293. What Price Lulz?12/12/22
2292. [Nobody November] Behold! Michiru's final Piece of Resistance!! 11/30/22
2291. [Nobody November] Behold! Pure Animal Desire!! 11/29/22
2290. [Nobody November] Behold! The Cat in a Hat!!11/28/22
2289. [Nobody November] Behold! Senshi? No! Superhero!!11/27/22
2288. [Nobody November] Behold! What do I see from the sea??11/26/22
2287. [Nobody November] Behold! The historic kiss of historical hysterics!!11/25/22
2286. [Nobody November] Behold! The true power couple!! 11/24/22
2285. [Nobody November] Behold! Hotaru's Bizarre Adventure!!11/23/22
2284. [Nobody November] Behold! the 99th bottle of beer! 11/22/22
2283. [Nobody November] Behold! She Who Screams at the World!!11/21/22
2282. [Nobody November] Behold! The new Hotness - It'll burn your brain!!11/20/22
2281. [Nobody November] Behold! The Gothic Princess of Saturn!! 11/19/22
2280. [Nobody November] Behold! Ass Musk!!11/18/22
2279. [Nobody November] Behold! Boob-arm!!11/17/22
2278. [Nobody November] Behold! The Hot cooking not-the-Mama!!11/16/22
2277. [Nobody November] Behold! The Cat's Meow!!11/15/22
2276. [Nobody November] Behold! That fire in your soul!!11/14/22
2275. [Nobody November] Behold! A Foxy time in the future of Mankind!11/13/22
2274. [Nobody November] Behold! A Cat in a Hat!!11/12/22
2273. [Nobody Novemeber] Behold! The Fitness of a Crimefighting Idol!11/11/22
2272. [Nobody November] Art is a contrast! The Quality of Life!!11/10/22
2271. [Nobody November] Behold! The Mad Mentality of Mercury!11/09/22
2270. [Nobody November] Behold! The Burning Secrets of Hino Rei's Culinary Kitchen!!11/08/22
2269. [Nobody November] Behold! A lovely pair of cantaloupes!!11/07/22
2268. [Nobody November] Behold! The Beholder Beholding things Best not Beholden!!11/06/22
2267. [Nobody November] Behold! Haruka and Alcohol, a love affair!11/05/22
2266. [Nobody November] Behold! Doctor Xadium!!11/04/22
2265. [Nobody November] Revealed! The Unseen Artemis!!11/03/22
2264. [Nobody November] Behold! The Everywoman!!11/02/22
2263. [Nobody November] Foxy Babes! Nature's Warriors of the Space!!11/01/22
2262. It's a revolution!! Scarier than Halloween, Kaioh Michiru presents 'Nobody November!'10/31/22
2261. Even a Hotaru can smile! The Pleasures of Destruction!! 10/06/22
2260. Third Time's the Charm?? Umino's next cashgrab! 09/21/22
2259. Minako's Miscalculation! Artemis' Life of Regrets!!09/20/22
2258. There are some fights you can't win! Hotaru's Marsellus Wallace moment!!09/19/22
2257. The Burning was Imperfect! Senshi's bad day!! 09/18/22
2256. 20 years later, a radical new approach appears! The Senshi in peril!! 09/08/22
2255. A broken man! Artemis is rescued... maybe??09/06/22
2254. His Desperation! Artemis sells his soul on eBay!!09/05/22
2253. In anime, the older you get the hotter you get! The golden rule shown once again!!09/04/22
2252. Enough is Enough! One man's Rebellion against The Disrespect!!09/03/22
2251. All hail the new Moon Queen! Danny DevitOH MY GOD!!09/02/22
2250. Now there are two of them?! A Dark Lord of the Sh!t appears??!09/01/22
2249. Time, the destroyer of all things! Artemis learns a shocking fact!! 08/31/22
2248. It's an Optimus Crime I tell you! Dead body of the fallen leader for Sale!!08/30/22
2247. Catboy Ramen Water high on Protein! Haruka high on Life!!08/28/22
2246. HISTORIC! It's Suburban Senshi's 20th Anniversary! Saban Moon MiST!!08/25/22
2245. Sailormoon S: The Nuts in the Shell07/09/22
2244. ...06/25/22
2243. Mina-P's Special Time DEBUT 04/26/22
2242. [Retraction!] Skip Wolf Warrior 204/10/22
2241. [ Movie Review ] Wolf Warrior 204/09/22
2240. A new era begins! Mina-P's Exciting time!! 02/14/22
2239. Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)12/14/21
2238. Suburban Senshi Thanksgiving Special in December! MST of The Humanoid!!12/11/21
2237. [SPAM MiST] Haruka's desperation! Searching Emails for the secret to Better Loving!!11/08/21
2236. Oh no! Someone told Aino Minako about the Squid Games!!10/18/21
2235. Hit 'em with your best shot10/15/21
2234. A Star Treks into musings of mortality10/14/21
2233. [Motoki Rescue Arc - END] What did history record!? The low effort resolution!!10/03/21
2232. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Michiru makes her move! It's a Monstrous Magia Maiden!10/02/21
2231. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Holy id, Batman! The Darkest Timeline approaches!!09/29/21
2230. [Motoki Rescue Arc] A new Challenger Appears?! Wait, that's--!09/19/21
2229. [Motoki Rescue Arc] What evil lurks in the mind of Mo'09/08/21
2228. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Breaking Through! From one crazed mind to another!!08/24/21
2227. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Into the Mind of Motoki! The only taste is Salt!!08/02/21
2226. [MOTOKI RESCUE ARC] Stranded07/23/21
2225. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Enter - THE SNOTILUS06/23/21
2224. [ Motoki Rescue Arc ] Scanning the Brain! Motoki's damaged mentality revealed!! 06/16/21
2223. Nostalgic memories and a turtle's curse! A deadline to save Motoki's soul!!06/12/21
2222. What's YOUR Youtube ASMR?06/05/21
2221. A new era of communication begins! Introducing Mugen Messenger!!06/04/21
2220. The Name Blame Game05/11/21
2219. Botched Shane MacMahon Promo or Drunk Ten'ou Haruka? YOU DECIDE!!03/09/21
2218. Exploding with Pleasure! Exploding with Passion! Exploding with Fury! Haruka's reaction to the end of AEW Revolution 2021!! (Spoilers)03/08/21
2217. A fight for the ages! The true story of Haruka and Michiru vs Usagi at Mugen!!03/01/21
2216. Haruka's Birthday is truly is an unfortunate time01/28/21
2215. The Cream Rises to the Top12/07/20
2214. Panic at the Discord11/30/20
2213. Haruka's Black Friday Mistake11/27/20
2212. Happy Thanksgiving from Suburban Senshi! 11/26/20
2211. Sketch Sessions 002 - Ongoing Fashion Disaster11/06/20
2210. A Special Election indeed (Sketch Sessions 0111/05/20
2209. In the name of the moon and the International Standards of Weights and Measures, I will punish you! 10/19/20
2208. WHAAAT? It's been eighteen years? Catching up with the Suburban Senshi!!08/25/20
2207. We always did have a blind spot for Venus-sama~08/17/20
2206. Some things are better off DEAD! The Suburban Senshi react to the rest of the Death Note Anime [Episodes 11-37]!!08/09/20
2205. 14 years late! The Suburban Senshi react to the Death Note anime! Episodes 1-10!!08/09/20
2204. Back in Blargh~08/04/20
2203. In a Hot Spot06/25/20
2202. [GrimDark Arc] Fear her Pink Sugar Heart Attack~06/04/20
2201. Art is in the voice of the beholder06/01/20
2200. [ Grimdark Arc ] Floating on Clouds Nine and Ten05/30/20
2199. [ Grimdark Arc ] All Fired up~05/26/20
2198. Where does Haruka get those wonderful suits?05/25/20
2197. Smile! You're in the Picture at last!05/24/20
2196. Haruka takes the Sailor Moon Drawing Challenge!!05/21/20
2195. Great Moments in Suburban Senshi History: Sad Departure05/19/20
2194. Family Flashback Fun 90's style05/17/20
2193. DEEP LORE DROP! The Spiritual Space-Screams of the Silver Millennium through Space and Time!05/15/20
2192. Lockdown Diversionary Tactics 05/14/20
2191. BEHIND THE SCENES - Suburban Senshi Podcast with Retro Fanfic Retrospective!04/17/20
2190. Blame Big Papa04/06/20
2189. In poor taste03/12/20
2188. More fun that a Big Daddy Turtle! Hiatus 1 and "Whatever happened to the Suburban Senshi" now in the story collections!!01/14/20
2187. Alexa, we're in the sh*t now. 01/08/20
2186. MST: Mansplaining to Women for Fun and Profit01/07/20
2185. Superhero Superstars of the WWE - Plus Ultra [Lashley]?01/03/20
2184. The Perils of Commercialization12/20/19
2183. That's one Powerful P*ssy12/19/19
2182. Flushed with Anticipation11/21/19
2181. Announcing the Suburban Senshi collections - The S and SuperS comics!09/15/19
2180. Beryl got Back (and got back~)09/14/19
2179. Twitter Test09/13/19
2178. The Sub. Senshi go to the Minnesota State Fair (by UltraMatt)09/01/19
2177. Quality Parenting08/30/19
2176. Science08/29/19
2175. Medical Heroics Plus Ultra08/28/19
2174. Motoki Finds True Love?08/27/19
2173. Hotaru wut u doing08/26/19
2172. Suburban Senshi is NOT old enough to Vote today! <_<08/25/19
2171. Suburban Senshi is OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE today! (08/25/19
2170. You've got to FIGHT... for the RIGHT... to POTTY~!08/13/19
2169. Back to the IRC II (Test)08/11/19


Legacy Archives

Suburban Senshi Entry #2237 - “[SPAM MiST] Haruka's desperation! Searching Emails for the secret to Better Loving!!”
#2237 “[SPAM MiST] Haruka's desperation! Searching Emails for the secret to Better Loving!!”
Excerpt Start - 07:33 AM 11/08/21

#suburbansenshisquad
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
i regrat playang da t suad game
FireFly_9
... That wasn't a Squid game, it was a sex toy.
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
a defactav 1
SpeedRcr_X
Man
SpeedRcr_X
Man ever since Michiru almost left me for the overly-muclebound Madoka fusions I've lost all confidence in my macho sensibilities
SpeedRcr_X
But modern technology has failed to help me find a solution to this problem
FireFly_9
Technology?
SpeedRcr_X
Yeah back in the day you'd get tons of emails everyday on methods to improve your performace, but now there's none
FireFly_9
Haruka-poppa that was spam E-mail which is filtered out now by default.
SpeedRcr_X
OH so that's what that folder's for! Awesome that they decided to put it all in a dedicated place so you can easily find it!
FireFly_9
...
SpeedRcr_X
Let's see here...
SpeedRcr_X


Hello,

A novel stance of Boxing Administrator for our parcel biz has just been started. Our association offers a very large check and instructional bundle to do you as a teammate of our partnership's expanding and heavily effectual crew.


.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
wayit da chack an instractanal bandle doez u?
FireFly_9
Don't get any ideas, Chibiusa-chan.
SpeedRcr_X
Maybe this is special erotic training
FireFly_9
I don't... where are you getting this?
SpeedRcr_X
You'll understand when you're older
FireFly_9
I WAS BORN IN 1981
SpeedRcr_X
Well when you get less sheltered
SpeedRcr_X


We learned thy information by virtue of the CareerBuilder web site and count up that your knowledge might be valuable for us. Supposing thou are touched by our fellowship's work, would you please compose an e-mail to our management so our comradeship's manpower wardens would be able to specify to you superior location's description.


FireFly_9
"thy"... and "thou"... and "fellowship"? did this just become a Tolkien spam?
GERMATOID
NGL "MANPOWER WARDEN" SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT JOB TITLE! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
i went sum menpowar
SpeedRcr_X
I want this superior location's description so I can begin my erotic retraining and rebuild my confidence to seduce my wife.
FireFly_9
Haruka-poppa, you're starting to sound like the spam mail.
SpeedRcr_X


Remuneration: ,000 a month.

The given offer is only for operators that show their interest to act from within their doors. If ya'll may afford to corporally be present at thy house starting from nine AM ending with 5 PM, you would pull up dollars.


Reverend_H
YO PULL UP DOLLAS YO
RedCrow
God even working from home it's a pain in the ass being corporeally present from 9-5
C'est_La_V
Is this why you never answer me on slack??
RedCrow
I never answer you because you ask stupid things
RedCrow
Like how the hell do I know if your cat s[BLEEP]t on your bow
SpeedRcr_X


. You all will be a sterling participant at the job if you are a fresh mamma, a pupil of online option of schooling, pensioner, unable to work normally outdoors man or woman, or the human being which doesn’t like to make departure building for function.


SpeedRcr_X
I am the human being which doesn’t like to make departure building for function. For sure.
setsy_meioh
You literally only go outside to turn on the perfection field and make people swoon over you.
SpeedRcr_X
Don't be jelly because you never had that capacity
SpeedRcr_X


Ya'll shall not be constrained to work with ponderous clots. Principally, you shall see gowns or puppets inside. Educative material is produced for no cost.


Texas Samurai
"Y'all shall not be contrained...?"
setsy_meioh
Well you're disqualified, Haruka. Since they don't want "ponderous clots".
SpeedRcr_X
...Gowns and puppets frighten me so I might want to disqualify myself
FireFly_9
Wait, you fear puppets?
SpeedRcr_X
The Muppet show is a f[BLEEP]king eldritch abomination. and don't get me started on Sesame Street whre Big Bird worshipped an invisible Elephant for YEARS
FireFly_9
I'm pretty sure Snuffleupagus was a Woolly Mammoth
SpeedRcr_X
SEE THAT'S EVEN WORSE HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN EXTINCT
SpeedRcr_X


All you all shall need to possess work from our camaraderie is a on-table computer, entrance to the online net, and printer to be able to print bills of lading. How much ye will get relies only on ye – the more ya'll work, the more money you all receive. On average, laborers which simply launch functioning for our fellowship obtain about 1000 cash per 7 days.


Texas Samurai
How'd this email go from Th' Hobbit t' 'Dolly Parton advertises'?
// J_Daito //
I have an on-table computer but my entrance to the online net is slow at 14.4kbps
GERMATOID
I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT SITES LIKE MINE BECAUSE YOUR TEXT BROWSER DOESN'T RUN JAVASCRIPT
// J_Daito //
Look I am the ustomer and you are meant to accomodate me. I should never have to adapt to your new-fangled needs.
GERMATOID
OK BOOMER
// J_Daito //
Look just because I'm 10,000 years old
SpeedRcr_X


Are you induced by our job? Don't hesitate to send a letter to our management through e-mail. Add your Full name and your house location. But keep in mind about being at your dwelling from nine o'clock to 17.00 is your obligation to be able to take the appointment (or, the job isn’t for thou, unluckily)


FireFly_9
PICK A F[BLEEP]KING GENRE! HOBBITS OR HICKS!
Texas Samurai
...hicks?
FireFly_9
Erm
SpeedRcr_X


f


FireFly_9
Wait the last line literally is "f"
Texas Samurai
Hicks ☠
// J_Daito //
Yeah "f" for "ya done f[BLEEP]ked up now" Tomoe the Younger.
SpeedRcr_X
I still don't see how joining their fellowship helps me seduce Michiru though
FireFly_9
Maybe she likes hobbit Cosplay
SpeedRcr_X
Well my feet are already all set
RedCrow
what
Excerpt End - 07:57 AM 11/08/21 - Thanks to Jewelry Jelly for passing this prime piece of Spam our way!

https://www.suburbansenshi.com
December 20, 2000: Mika was patronizing a starving artist with blemished dreams, when Professor Tomoe attacked using Sailor Buri, determined to contaminate a crystal point. As the Senshi break and attack, Nephlite joined them, trying to kill 'taru for no good reason. Prince Endymion got resurrected. When all hope seemed lost, the Senshi got a break through new information which someone only just now rememebered. Sailor Moon used a piercing scream amplified through her odango to win.
Hit!Graph
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> What the hell else am I gonna find out today? That KITT wasn't really a talking car, but a slightly modded Trans-Am with a dub Seiyuu?




Suburban Senshi: Like cocaine, but better.
Destroy this website!!