2245. Sailormoon S: The Nuts in the Shell07/09/22
2244. ...06/25/22
2243. Mina-P's Special Time DEBUT 04/26/22
2242. [Retraction!] Skip Wolf Warrior 204/10/22
2241. [ Movie Review ] Wolf Warrior 204/09/22
2240. A new era begins! Mina-P's Exciting time!! 02/14/22
2239. Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)12/14/21
2238. Suburban Senshi Thanksgiving Special in December! MST of The Humanoid!!12/11/21
2237. [SPAM MiST] Haruka's desperation! Searching Emails for the secret to Better Loving!!11/08/21
2236. Oh no! Someone told Aino Minako about the Squid Games!!10/18/21
2235. Hit 'em with your best shot10/15/21
2234. A Star Treks into musings of mortality10/14/21
2233. [Motoki Rescue Arc - END] What did history record!? The low effort resolution!!10/03/21
2232. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Michiru makes her move! It's a Monstrous Magia Maiden!10/02/21
2231. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Holy id, Batman! The Darkest Timeline approaches!!09/29/21
2230. [Motoki Rescue Arc] A new Challenger Appears?! Wait, that's--!09/19/21
2229. [Motoki Rescue Arc] What evil lurks in the mind of Mo'09/08/21
2228. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Breaking Through! From one crazed mind to another!!08/24/21
2227. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Into the Mind of Motoki! The only taste is Salt!!08/02/21
2226. [MOTOKI RESCUE ARC] Stranded07/23/21
2225. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Enter - THE SNOTILUS06/23/21
2224. [ Motoki Rescue Arc ] Scanning the Brain! Motoki's damaged mentality revealed!! 06/16/21
2223. Nostalgic memories and a turtle's curse! A deadline to save Motoki's soul!!06/12/21
2222. What's YOUR Youtube ASMR?06/05/21
2221. A new era of communication begins! Introducing Mugen Messenger!!06/04/21
2220. The Name Blame Game05/11/21
2219. Botched Shane MacMahon Promo or Drunk Ten'ou Haruka? YOU DECIDE!!03/09/21
2218. Exploding with Pleasure! Exploding with Passion! Exploding with Fury! Haruka's reaction to the end of AEW Revolution 2021!! (Spoilers)03/08/21
2217. A fight for the ages! The true story of Haruka and Michiru vs Usagi at Mugen!!03/01/21
2216. Haruka's Birthday is truly is an unfortunate time01/28/21
2215. The Cream Rises to the Top12/07/20
2214. Panic at the Discord11/30/20
2213. Haruka's Black Friday Mistake11/27/20
2212. Happy Thanksgiving from Suburban Senshi! 11/26/20
2211. Sketch Sessions 002 - Ongoing Fashion Disaster11/06/20
2210. A Special Election indeed (Sketch Sessions 0111/05/20
2209. In the name of the moon and the International Standards of Weights and Measures, I will punish you! 10/19/20
2208. WHAAAT? It's been eighteen years? Catching up with the Suburban Senshi!!08/25/20
2207. We always did have a blind spot for Venus-sama~08/17/20
2206. Some things are better off DEAD! The Suburban Senshi react to the rest of the Death Note Anime [Episodes 11-37]!!08/09/20
2205. 14 years late! The Suburban Senshi react to the Death Note anime! Episodes 1-10!!08/09/20
2204. Back in Blargh~08/04/20
2203. In a Hot Spot06/25/20
2202. [GrimDark Arc] Fear her Pink Sugar Heart Attack~06/04/20
2201. Art is in the voice of the beholder06/01/20
2200. [ Grimdark Arc ] Floating on Clouds Nine and Ten05/30/20
2199. [ Grimdark Arc ] All Fired up~05/26/20
2198. Where does Haruka get those wonderful suits?05/25/20
2197. Smile! You're in the Picture at last!05/24/20
2196. Haruka takes the Sailor Moon Drawing Challenge!!05/21/20
2195. Great Moments in Suburban Senshi History: Sad Departure05/19/20
2194. Family Flashback Fun 90's style05/17/20
2193. DEEP LORE DROP! The Spiritual Space-Screams of the Silver Millennium through Space and Time!05/15/20
2192. Lockdown Diversionary Tactics 05/14/20
2191. BEHIND THE SCENES - Suburban Senshi Podcast with Retro Fanfic Retrospective!04/17/20
2190. Blame Big Papa04/06/20
2189. In poor taste03/12/20
2188. More fun that a Big Daddy Turtle! Hiatus 1 and "Whatever happened to the Suburban Senshi" now in the story collections!!01/14/20
2187. Alexa, we're in the sh*t now. 01/08/20
2186. MST: Mansplaining to Women for Fun and Profit01/07/20
2185. Superhero Superstars of the WWE - Plus Ultra [Lashley]?01/03/20
2184. The Perils of Commercialization12/20/19
2183. That's one Powerful P*ssy12/19/19
2182. Flushed with Anticipation11/21/19
2181. Announcing the Suburban Senshi collections - The S and SuperS comics!09/15/19
2180. Beryl got Back (and got back~)09/14/19
2179. Twitter Test09/13/19
2178. The Sub. Senshi go to the Minnesota State Fair (by UltraMatt)09/01/19
2177. Quality Parenting08/30/19
2176. Science08/29/19
2175. Medical Heroics Plus Ultra08/28/19
2174. Motoki Finds True Love?08/27/19
2173. Hotaru wut u doing08/26/19
2172. Suburban Senshi is NOT old enough to Vote today! <_<08/25/19
2171. Suburban Senshi is OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE today! (08/25/19
2170. You've got to FIGHT... for the RIGHT... to POTTY~!08/13/19
2169. Back to the IRC II (Test)08/11/19


Legacy Archives

Suburban Senshi Entry #2238 - “Suburban Senshi Thanksgiving Special in December! MST of The Humanoid!!”
#2238 “Suburban Senshi Thanksgiving Special in December! MST of The Humanoid!!”
Excerpt Start - 11:03 AM 12/11/21

#suburbansenshisquad
=/\catablanca/\=
I kept telling her that wasn't an effective method but she wouldn't listen
// J_Daito //
I always love when you retell the story of Child Support:Origins
SpeedRcr_X
EVERYONE
SpeedRcr_X
EVERYONE
SpeedRcr_X
Are you paying attention
FireFly_9
Yes poppa, what is it
SpeedRcr_X
It's Time for the annual Suburban Senshi Thanksgiving Day Special!
FireFly_9
Okay first of all, we live in Japan
FireFly_9
Secondly, Thanksgiving was several weeks ago
SpeedRcr_X
Look here at Suburban Senshi we are all about Multiculturalism and not sweating the small stuff like details and s[BLEEP]t
// J_Daito //
You just want to eat Turkey, don't you Ten'ou?
SpeedRcr_X
I will neither confirm or deny
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
hay sum1s at da doar wat turkay
SpeedRcr_X
Excellent
Mdm_Maestro
So how are we celebrating this "Thanksgiving", dear? By listing what we are thankful for?
SpeedRcr_X
By mocking a movie
Mdm_Maestro
Of course. That makes total sense.
SpeedRcr_X
Today's movie is called "The Humanoid" (or alternatively, "L'umanoide" or "Humanoid" depending on where you are. It is a ripoff of Star Wars. It is such a deep ripoff of Star Wars the director even calls himself "George B. Lewis" in homage to George Lucas.
FireFly_9
This is like if you were to make a movie, isn't it
SpeedRcr_X
Well you know I watched this a few weeks ago and forgot half of it and couldn't be bothered to rewatch it again to get pictures so I just grabbed a frame every 30 seconds and picked some from that and am going to do my best to remember it from memory
// J_Daito //
This is a new depth of laziness
SpeedRcr_X
I prefer to call it efficiency. Besides, great art is all in the limitations. Anyone can put out a polished final product.
FireFly_9
...Anyone.
SpeedRcr_X
Yeah let's get started
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
So this movie is such a rip that even the opening credits are in the Star Wars text crawl
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
The opening narration, kept in the original italian, even through the movie is in English, is too
FireFly_9
What does it say?
SpeedRcr_X
To paraphrase the first season of Tiger King, "That b[BLEEP]ch Barbara Gibson".
FireFly_9
What? That whole thing
SpeedRcr_X
Basically. You'll see
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
So we start with what looks like the ass-end of a Star Destroyer. But it's not.
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
The not-Star Destroyer is chasing another ship to a planet.
FireFly_9
I think I've seen this movie before
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
On this ship, multiple Darth Vaders are piloting, because if one was great for Star Wars, think how popular a movie would be with fifty.
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
There's even a giant-size one for maximum Darthness
FireFly_9
...
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
So the Death Star ripoff s[BLEEP]ts out a ship that looks like a Space Manta Ray - sending it to Tatooine the planet That B[BLEEP]ch Barbara Gibson lives on. Darth, you see, wants her dead.
FireFly_9
Why?
SpeedRcr_X
Yes.
FireFly_9
What
SpeedRcr_X
I'm sure there are reasons™ but I've either forgotten them or they were so lazily explained they weren't memorable
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
So we finally get our first look at Princess Leia That B[BLEEP]ch Barbara Gibson, who's a space desk jockey or something
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
No less than Three Space Vaders are sent to kill the s[BLEEP]t out of her
SpeedRcr_X
Let us enjoy Space Vader action
SpeedRcr_X
















SpeedRcr_X
Now their boss, the Vader Prime, has a name but f[BLEEP]k if I remember it.
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
He's so badass you can actully see part of his face
GERMATOID
THE STUFF ON HIS FACE MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE SPANDAM FROM ONE PIECE
SpeedRcr_X
He's about as effective
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
So they leave but they didn't get That B[BLEEP]ch Barbara Gibson.
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
Oh this is our Luke or Han Solo I dunno which I forgot his name
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
And this is some old dude in charge of s[BLEEP]t I forget his name too. They're all unimportant
FireFly_9
Where does the Humanoid come in? And what happened to That Bi-- to Barbara Gibson?
SpeedRcr_X
Okay so check it out
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
She survived because she got out of the office buildings before the Vaders attacked. Because she had gotten a psychic warning that took over her body and puppet-walked her out
FireFly_9
From the Humanoid?
SpeedRcr_X
No
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
From THE ASIAN CHILD
SpeedRcr_X
TOM-TOM
// J_Daito //
...tom tom?
// J_Daito //
You're making that name up right
SpeedRcr_X
nope.
SpeedRcr_X
And Tom-Tom is a short mystical asian child
// J_Daito //
Don't be racist. This is space
// J_Daito //
Ethnicity
// J_Daito //
Doesn't matter here
SpeedRcr_X
NO
SpeedRcr_X
HE IS ASIAN YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND
SpeedRcr_X
YOU WILL
SpeedRcr_X
HE IS ALSO OUR YODA
FireFly_9
..............
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
That B[BLEEP]ch Barbara Gibson chastises him for controlling her body
SpeedRcr_X
Okay so we finally get some plot now
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
So Vader is in love with this chick from James Bond
SpeedRcr_X
Now she's apparently a super-ancient space-hag but she is being kept youthful by a treatment
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
The treatment is being given by this old guy. It consists of stripping a woman naked then impaling her to death in a plexiglass iron maiden, then using her blood-juices to keep space hag alive for another day
SpeedRcr_X
OH OH
SpeedRcr_X
Now I remember
SpeedRcr_X
The whole raid on the office where That B[BLEEP]ch Barbara Gibson worked? It was to break in and steal a super rare element that this guy could use on people to create... The Humanoid
// J_Daito //
Okay, but what is the humanoid?
SpeedRcr_X
Patience
SpeedRcr_X
So we cut now to another Bond Alumni, Richard Kiel, aka Jaws, who is chilling on a planet with his space-dog
SpeedRcr_X
















.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
y am i wetching spase dag - asz
FireFly_9
I'm certain you've seen worse sights, Chibiusa-chan
SpeedRcr_X
So anyway the Space Vaders catch him for scientist guy, who decides to pump him full of the secret chemical s[BLEEP]t that makes him super strong, bulletproof and indestructable - AKA the HUMANOID
SpeedRcr_X












SpeedRcr_X
(I consider this Jaws' (from Bond) origin story btw because it perfectly explains where he gets all that super strength)
SpeedRcr_X
So Space Vader decides to send THE HUMANOID down to Not-Tattooine to kill the s[BLEEP]t out of the government (that old guy who I forgot who he was before) and he kills the s[BLEEP]t out of 99% of the guards and is about to kill Dollar Store Luke / Han when all of a sudden
SpeedRcr_X




















SpeedRcr_X
THE ASIAN CHILD
SpeedRcr_X
Who uses his SPACE ASIAN POWERS to UNLOCK GOODNESS IN THE HUMANOID
SpeedRcr_X
Who now has all the strengths and none of the weaknesses, just like The Daywalker
// J_Daito //
STOP CALLING HIM THE ASIAN CHILD. IT'S F[BLEEP]KING SPACE
// J_Daito //
HE'S THE TATOOINE CHILD OR SOMETHING
SpeedRcr_X
Again, you show your ignorance.
SpeedRcr_X
Anyway
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
Even Space Vader is like "What the f[BLEEP]k" at these developments, and he kidnaps That B[BLEEP]ch Barbara Gibson to suck out her blood and feed to his woman for another day of life for her (not pictured)
SpeedRcr_X








SpeedRcr_X
But THE HUMANOID (who I guess is Chewbacca now) THE ASIAN CHILD (Yoda) and Han / Luke w/e go off to save her.
// J_Daito //
STOP BEING RACIST
SpeedRcr_X
I'M NOT
FireFly_9
It's not funny, Haruka-poppa
SpeedRcr_X
...
SpeedRcr_X
fine
SpeedRcr_X




























SpeedRcr_X
So they get on the fakeass death-star, blow it up, you think the HUMANOID is dead because he blows up a missile right next to him but SURPRISE B[BLEEP]CHES he's THE HUMANOID so makes it out okay, they get back to Space-Tatooine where That B[BLEEP]ch Barbara Gibson makes out with THE HUMANOID after Tom-Tom the wunderkind turns him human again...
SpeedRcr_X
















SpeedRcr_X
OH AND TOM-TOM SAYS GOODBYE BECAUSE HE HAS TO GO BACK TO HIS HOME, ANCIENT TIBET, ON A F[BLEEP]KING GLASS ORIGAMI PAPER CRANE SPACE-SHIP THAT FLIES OFF INTO THE F[BLEEP]KING SUN
// J_Daito //
...oh so he was Asian all the time
SpeedRcr_X
ARRAAARGH
SpeedRcr_X
So
SpeedRcr_X
If you want to see this movie it's actually on youtube
SpeedRcr_X
Check it out, it's pretty fun
FireFly_9
So how would you rate this movie, Haruka-poppa?
SpeedRcr_X
Plot: 1/2 Dragonballs out of 2
SpeedRcr_X
Visuals: 1 Dragonball / 2
SpeedRcr_X
Audio: 1 Dragonballs out of 2 (it was by Ennio Morricone but damn if I could tell.)
SpeedRcr_X
Overall feeling: 1 out of 1 Dragonball for the sheer WTFery
SpeedRcr_X
so... 3.5 dragonballs out of 7. A fun timewaster.




Excerpt End - 12:07 PM 12/11/21

https://www.suburbansenshi.com





April 27, 2002: Ami and Haruka were stuck in a nightmare circus, when Wiseman attacked using Kuroki Mio, determined to find the golden dream mirror. As the Senshi tried to think up a plan, Nephlite joined them, commenting on how cruel and heartless the enemies were. Mamoru got completely flabbergasted. When all hope seemed lost, the Senshi got a break through sudden incompetence on the part of the villain. Sailor Moon used an appeal for everyone's power to win.
Hit!Graph
<@S.X. Aino> Hotaru-P: The woman who sent out an image of her stern visage on a christmas card as a warning to all future generations.




Suburban Senshi: Twice as fun as Azumanga Daioh.
Destroy this website!!