2346. From goths to planets! A smashing good time!! 09/21/23
2345. Modern Metaphysical musings! On Reincarnation and Undying love!!09/15/23
2344. Selling out! Various degrees of Selling out!! 09/14/23
2343. Embrace the Stupid! How to trap the Author - You'll Swear by it!! 09/13/23
2342. It's not easy to walk on water! P(r)ay to the Moon Goddess for Great Success!!09/07/23
2341. The best part of waking up! It's Caffeine in your cup [noodle]!!09/06/23
2340. Sasuke, the original Ninja Sex party! And Hotaru, is that how you relax?!08/31/23
2339. The many rabbits of the moon! Historical blackmail revealed!! 08/28/23
2338. The Pain of Pondering Plots! Suburban Senshi, a Tale of Three Cities ends now!! Happy 21st Anniversary!!!08/25/23
2337. Lingering on that Cliffhanger! The Pain of Hard Cheese!! 08/24/23
2336. Orichimaru: It's what's for Dinner! Also, Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities, Episode 12!!08/23/23
2335. Naruto and Rei-chan have something in common!? Believe it!! 08/22/23
2334. The future of Suburban Senshi's Blog Revealed?? Also, Part Eleven of "Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!!" 08/21/23
2333. It's good caculation! Episode 10 of "Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities" is here!! 08/20/23
2332. Better than Pizza at the push of a button? It's Episode Nine of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!! 08/18/23
2331. Its bad information! Also, Episode Eight of "Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities" is here!! 08/16/23
2330. Stop mixing your fluids with things! Also, it's Episode 7 of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!! 08/13/23
2329. Why sleep? It's Episode Six of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!!08/11/23
2328. It's the morning! Time for Part FIVE of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!!08/08/23
2327. Worst piece of SubSen lore ever?? Also Part Four of "Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities" is here!!08/04/23
2326. Mister Stark she doesn't feel so good! It's Episode Three of Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities!!08/03/23
2325. It's a little big problem! Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities, Episode 2! 08/02/23
2324. Haruka is a child! Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities, Part I!!07/31/23
2323. The Future starts now! Suburban Senshi: A Tale of Three Cities - Prologue!! 07/28/23
2322. Explained! The NARUTO!!07/25/23
2321. Portents! Signs! Problems! The next arc is about to begin!! 07/23/23
2320. Portent for the future? A Procrastinator's Promise!! 06/20/23
2319. A Parent's Pride! It's Father's Day!! 06/18/23
2318. Someone get than man a mech! His Heroic Dreams!! 05/06/23
2317. It's pizza time! Fun for all good girls and boys!! 05/05/23
2316. Trek into Awesome! Make it so!! (Star Trek Picard Season 3 Spoilers)05/01/23
2315. It's Magic! Daddy's Elixir of Love!! 04/18/23
2314. Forbidden Lore dump! In which Haruka takes a dump on Lore!! 04/08/23
2313. It's Cheesy fun! A quick review of Mad Heidi!!04/08/23
2312. Ding Ding Ding! Vince is back in the ring!! 04/04/23
2311. Creepy Moustache Sky Bikes! It's WrestleMania Weekend!!04/02/23
2310. Dinosaurs, Spaghetti and Big Cats, oh my! 03/31/23
2309. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!!03/30/23
2308. The computers are taking over! AI, AI, AI!!03/30/23
2307. It's Quality Lifestyle Choice! Bootleg Sailor Moon!!03/28/23
2306. From WWE Universe to the Metaverse! Random Ramblings Abound!!03/27/23
2305. [Politics] When wishes for "justice" turn reality into fantasy! Can we trust anything any more??03/23/23
2304. Is it 2003 again? A heartfelt wish for a better tomorrow!! 03/20/23
2303. The One is back?? Review: Matrix Resurrections!!03/19/23
2302. Power up! Review: Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero!!03/17/23
2301. The future is frightening! Predicting the AI Apocalypse!! 03/16/23
2300. Questionable life choices! Haruka's shocking Turn!!03/15/23
2299. Conspiracies! Fraud! Desperation! It's all about dat Moon!!03/14/23
2298. Let's try this again, again~! Blogging without limits!!03/13/23
2297. This fight gives you wood! Witness: HIDARI!! 03/12/23
2296. Lighting up the stage once again! Sailor Scene Stealers!!01/31/23
2295. AI AI AI friends don't let friends let AI write for them01/16/23
2295.
2294. Burdensome Destiny! A Mother's love!! 12/29/22
2293. What Price Lulz?12/12/22
2292. [Nobody November] Behold! Michiru's final Piece of Resistance!! 11/30/22
2291. [Nobody November] Behold! Pure Animal Desire!! 11/29/22
2290. [Nobody November] Behold! The Cat in a Hat!!11/28/22
2289. [Nobody November] Behold! Senshi? No! Superhero!!11/27/22
2288. [Nobody November] Behold! What do I see from the sea??11/26/22
2287. [Nobody November] Behold! The historic kiss of historical hysterics!!11/25/22
2286. [Nobody November] Behold! The true power couple!! 11/24/22
2285. [Nobody November] Behold! Hotaru's Bizarre Adventure!!11/23/22
2284. [Nobody November] Behold! the 99th bottle of beer! 11/22/22
2283. [Nobody November] Behold! She Who Screams at the World!!11/21/22
2282. [Nobody November] Behold! The new Hotness - It'll burn your brain!!11/20/22
2281. [Nobody November] Behold! The Gothic Princess of Saturn!! 11/19/22
2280. [Nobody November] Behold! Ass Musk!!11/18/22
2279. [Nobody November] Behold! Boob-arm!!11/17/22
2278. [Nobody November] Behold! The Hot cooking not-the-Mama!!11/16/22
2277. [Nobody November] Behold! The Cat's Meow!!11/15/22
2276. [Nobody November] Behold! That fire in your soul!!11/14/22
2275. [Nobody November] Behold! A Foxy time in the future of Mankind!11/13/22
2274. [Nobody November] Behold! A Cat in a Hat!!11/12/22
2273. [Nobody Novemeber] Behold! The Fitness of a Crimefighting Idol!11/11/22
2272. [Nobody November] Art is a contrast! The Quality of Life!!11/10/22
2271. [Nobody November] Behold! The Mad Mentality of Mercury!11/09/22
2270. [Nobody November] Behold! The Burning Secrets of Hino Rei's Culinary Kitchen!!11/08/22
2269. [Nobody November] Behold! A lovely pair of cantaloupes!!11/07/22
2268. [Nobody November] Behold! The Beholder Beholding things Best not Beholden!!11/06/22
2267. [Nobody November] Behold! Haruka and Alcohol, a love affair!11/05/22
2266. [Nobody November] Behold! Doctor Xadium!!11/04/22
2265. [Nobody November] Revealed! The Unseen Artemis!!11/03/22
2264. [Nobody November] Behold! The Everywoman!!11/02/22
2263. [Nobody November] Foxy Babes! Nature's Warriors of the Space!!11/01/22
2262. It's a revolution!! Scarier than Halloween, Kaioh Michiru presents 'Nobody November!'10/31/22
2261. Even a Hotaru can smile! The Pleasures of Destruction!! 10/06/22
2260. Third Time's the Charm?? Umino's next cashgrab! 09/21/22
2259. Minako's Miscalculation! Artemis' Life of Regrets!!09/20/22
2258. There are some fights you can't win! Hotaru's Marsellus Wallace moment!!09/19/22
2257. The Burning was Imperfect! Senshi's bad day!! 09/18/22
2256. 20 years later, a radical new approach appears! The Senshi in peril!! 09/08/22
2255. A broken man! Artemis is rescued... maybe??09/06/22
2254. His Desperation! Artemis sells his soul on eBay!!09/05/22
2253. In anime, the older you get the hotter you get! The golden rule shown once again!!09/04/22
2252. Enough is Enough! One man's Rebellion against The Disrespect!!09/03/22
2251. All hail the new Moon Queen! Danny DevitOH MY GOD!!09/02/22
2250. Now there are two of them?! A Dark Lord of the Sh!t appears??!09/01/22
2249. Time, the destroyer of all things! Artemis learns a shocking fact!! 08/31/22
2248. It's an Optimus Crime I tell you! Dead body of the fallen leader for Sale!!08/30/22
2247. Catboy Ramen Water high on Protein! Haruka high on Life!!08/28/22
2246. HISTORIC! It's Suburban Senshi's 20th Anniversary! Saban Moon MiST!!08/25/22
2245. Sailormoon S: The Nuts in the Shell07/09/22
2244. ...06/25/22
2243. Mina-P's Special Time DEBUT 04/26/22
2242. [Retraction!] Skip Wolf Warrior 204/10/22
2241. [ Movie Review ] Wolf Warrior 204/09/22
2240. A new era begins! Mina-P's Exciting time!! 02/14/22
2239. Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)12/14/21
2238. Suburban Senshi Thanksgiving Special in December! MST of The Humanoid!!12/11/21
2237. [SPAM MiST] Haruka's desperation! Searching Emails for the secret to Better Loving!!11/08/21
2236. Oh no! Someone told Aino Minako about the Squid Games!!10/18/21
2235. Hit 'em with your best shot10/15/21
2234. A Star Treks into musings of mortality10/14/21
2233. [Motoki Rescue Arc - END] What did history record!? The low effort resolution!!10/03/21
2232. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Michiru makes her move! It's a Monstrous Magia Maiden!10/02/21
2231. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Holy id, Batman! The Darkest Timeline approaches!!09/29/21
2230. [Motoki Rescue Arc] A new Challenger Appears?! Wait, that's--!09/19/21
2229. [Motoki Rescue Arc] What evil lurks in the mind of Mo'09/08/21
2228. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Breaking Through! From one crazed mind to another!!08/24/21
2227. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Into the Mind of Motoki! The only taste is Salt!!08/02/21
2226. [MOTOKI RESCUE ARC] Stranded07/23/21
2225. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Enter - THE SNOTILUS06/23/21
2224. [ Motoki Rescue Arc ] Scanning the Brain! Motoki's damaged mentality revealed!! 06/16/21
2223. Nostalgic memories and a turtle's curse! A deadline to save Motoki's soul!!06/12/21
2222. What's YOUR Youtube ASMR?06/05/21
2221. A new era of communication begins! Introducing Mugen Messenger!!06/04/21
2220. The Name Blame Game05/11/21
2219. Botched Shane MacMahon Promo or Drunk Ten'ou Haruka? YOU DECIDE!!03/09/21
2218. Exploding with Pleasure! Exploding with Passion! Exploding with Fury! Haruka's reaction to the end of AEW Revolution 2021!! (Spoilers)03/08/21
2217. A fight for the ages! The true story of Haruka and Michiru vs Usagi at Mugen!!03/01/21
2216. Haruka's Birthday is truly is an unfortunate time01/28/21
2215. The Cream Rises to the Top12/07/20
2214. Panic at the Discord11/30/20
2213. Haruka's Black Friday Mistake11/27/20
2212. Happy Thanksgiving from Suburban Senshi! 11/26/20
2211. Sketch Sessions 002 - Ongoing Fashion Disaster11/06/20
2210. A Special Election indeed (Sketch Sessions 0111/05/20
2209. In the name of the moon and the International Standards of Weights and Measures, I will punish you! 10/19/20
2208. WHAAAT? It's been eighteen years? Catching up with the Suburban Senshi!!08/25/20
2207. We always did have a blind spot for Venus-sama~08/17/20
2206. Some things are better off DEAD! The Suburban Senshi react to the rest of the Death Note Anime [Episodes 11-37]!!08/09/20
2205. 14 years late! The Suburban Senshi react to the Death Note anime! Episodes 1-10!!08/09/20
2204. Back in Blargh~08/04/20
2203. In a Hot Spot06/25/20
2202. [GrimDark Arc] Fear her Pink Sugar Heart Attack~06/04/20
2201. Art is in the voice of the beholder06/01/20
2200. [ Grimdark Arc ] Floating on Clouds Nine and Ten05/30/20
2199. [ Grimdark Arc ] All Fired up~05/26/20
2198. Where does Haruka get those wonderful suits?05/25/20
2197. Smile! You're in the Picture at last!05/24/20
2196. Haruka takes the Sailor Moon Drawing Challenge!!05/21/20
2195. Great Moments in Suburban Senshi History: Sad Departure05/19/20
2194. Family Flashback Fun 90's style05/17/20
2193. DEEP LORE DROP! The Spiritual Space-Screams of the Silver Millennium through Space and Time!05/15/20
2192. Lockdown Diversionary Tactics 05/14/20
2191. BEHIND THE SCENES - Suburban Senshi Podcast with Retro Fanfic Retrospective!04/17/20
2190. Blame Big Papa04/06/20
2189. In poor taste03/12/20
2188. More fun that a Big Daddy Turtle! Hiatus 1 and "Whatever happened to the Suburban Senshi" now in the story collections!!01/14/20
2187. Alexa, we're in the sh*t now. 01/08/20
2186. MST: Mansplaining to Women for Fun and Profit01/07/20
2185. Superhero Superstars of the WWE - Plus Ultra [Lashley]?01/03/20
2184. The Perils of Commercialization12/20/19
2183. That's one Powerful P*ssy12/19/19
2182. Flushed with Anticipation11/21/19
2181. Announcing the Suburban Senshi collections - The S and SuperS comics!09/15/19
2180. Beryl got Back (and got back~)09/14/19
2179. Twitter Test09/13/19
2178. The Sub. Senshi go to the Minnesota State Fair (by UltraMatt)09/01/19
2177. Quality Parenting08/30/19
2176. Science08/29/19
2175. Medical Heroics Plus Ultra08/28/19
2174. Motoki Finds True Love?08/27/19
2173. Hotaru wut u doing08/26/19
2172. Suburban Senshi is NOT old enough to Vote today! <_<08/25/19
2171. Suburban Senshi is OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE today! (08/25/19
2170. You've got to FIGHT... for the RIGHT... to POTTY~!08/13/19
2169. Back to the IRC II (Test)08/11/19


Legacy Archives

Suburban Senshi Entry #2239 - “Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)”
#2239 “Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)”
Excerpt Start - 05:03 PM 12/14/21

#suburbansenshisquad
setsy_meioh
Again it wasn't my fault that Small Lady wasn't properly potty trained at the time.
Mdm_Maestro
Excuses, Excuses
SpeedRcr_X
So
Mdm_Maestro
So?
SpeedRcr_X
So like I was lying in bed the other night almost f[BLEEP]king dead from a cold or something and I decided to watch an old-ass Steven Segal movie I think was recommended by some listicle on my VR headset thing
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
o sit u war in da metravase?
SpeedRcr_X
OMG the f[BLEEP]king Metaverse don't get me started on Second Life 3.0
SpeedRcr_X
I had the idea for the Metaverse back when BBSes started doing RIPScrip I was like why can't you make a BBS that used doors and corridors like Doom or Wolfenstien and then have an 8 bit Avatar be you
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
wtf r u tlaking abot i dewnt unastedn dese wurds
SpeedRcr_X
Don't worryy about it
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
ror u r ole harukra
SpeedRcr_X
b[BLEEP]ch you are 921 years old I do NOT want to hear that talk from you
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
sew rood!!1
SpeedRcr_X
Anyway so I like a good action flick. I decided to go watch it because I hadn't seen Segal s[BLEEP]t in like aeons
Mdm_Maestro
And?
SpeedRcr_X
And omfg it was the most racist piece of s[BLEEP]t ever
SpeedRcr_X
The bad guys were Jamaicans peddling crack.
SpeedRcr_X
Now, the movie points this out in two ways
SpeedRcr_X
First, we get Hispanic Drug lords who are pissed at the Jamaicans because (and they literally say this) "you stand out. We [the Hispanics] look like them [white people]. You just draw attention to our business."
SpeedRcr_X
So in other words "You're black, you stick out."
SpeedRcr_X
THEN, they do a news report breaking down the statistics about how Jamaican gangsters are bringing crime to whitebread America, and even though they drop in a line about how it's only 3% of the immigrants doing crime, the movie of course completely undercuts that by showing almost every Jamaican in the town doing crime.
SpeedRcr_X
Then to drive the point home they shoot up Segal's sister's house, wounding his niece leading to a scenery=chewing "THEY HURT MY BABY!!!" line.
SpeedRcr_X
Which you would think youtube would have a clip of it was so overwrought but no
SpeedRcr_X
SO ANYWAY one interesting thing was they chose to have all the Jamaicans actually speak in natural Caribbean accents with their actual slang and lingo and stuff. Which, I wasn't expecting. I'd seen that in Luke Cage and considered thart groundbreaking
SpeedRcr_X
Of course here they did it to f[BLEEP]king supremely other the Jamaicians because I can bet you like 1% of the audience could understand what the hell they were saying, and it just serves to make them seem even more alien so people won't care when Segal starts shooting them up.
SpeedRcr_X
Even MORE on top of this they throw in the gang using Black Magic. The Columbians do their version first to try and kill the Jamaicans but it isn't strong enough
// J_Daito //
By Metallia
SpeedRcr_X
So, so, yeah we're in stupidly racist territory now. Then as if to try and balance the scales, they hook Segal up with Keith David (from They live and a Jamaican cop. The heroic trio GOES to Jamaica and we get this golden exchange (Paraphrased)
SpeedRcr_X


Keith David's Char> I gotta apologize. I thought all Jamaicans were rasta druggie gangbangers
Jamaican Cop> No man you don't have to apologize, it's just a few people making bad choices.


SpeedRcr_X
YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING A RACIST-ASS SUPER GENERALIZATION ABOUT AN ENTIRE F[BLEEP]KING COUNTRY OF PEOPLE WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE VICTIM OF THE SAME DAMN S[BLEEP]T? REALLY?!
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
wew jast wew
SpeedRcr_X
Yeah now the reason I mentioned the fact I was watching this on Oculus was because this s[BLEEP]t was happening in front of my face and I literally could not look away (well I mean I could have taken the headset off but)
SpeedRcr_X
It was painful. I enjoyed the chase scenes and the clever way they tried to kill Segal with a Garbage Truck, am Excavator and a Molotov c[BLEEP]ktail, but the racism got to me
SpeedRcr_X
So after the movie was over I looked it up on Wikipedia to see how it was received and I read that some paper savaged it, so I followed the link to the review
SpeedRcr_X
And
SpeedRcr_X
And this was hilarious
SpeedRcr_X
The paper savaged it for being racist
SpeedRcr_X
(which, rightly so)
SpeedRcr_X
And then they said:
SpeedRcr_X


Ultimately, what ruined ''Marked for Death'' for me was its shameless racism. Jamaicans drop like flies in this movie, and they are stereotyped as gibbering in unintelligible Rasta accents.


SpeedRcr_X
Okay see, that bolded part is f[BLEEP]king racist of the reviewer
SpeedRcr_X
They aren't jibbering, they're talking as many Jamaicans actually do. Like, whoever was doing the script actually got a lot of the insults and things dead on.
SpeedRcr_X
I mean, yeah, like I said before the choice to make them not even attempt "plain" English f[BLEEP]king othered them, but there's an element of racism in expecting people to just form up to your linguistic wants and needs.
FireFly_9
I thinkthe reviewer was going the same place as you were, Haruka-poppa, they could have perhaps said "are stereotyped by having their Rasta speech used as a means of intimidating others" or something like that.
SpeedRcr_X
Maybe. The other thing which I found funny was this other line in the review which said
SpeedRcr_X


But who wants to spend six bucks for one nifty chase scene? Mark my words-there are better ways for you to spend your money


// J_Daito //
Six bucks.
Mizunomics01
That is how you know this was written in the deep past.
SpeedRcr_X
Oh I found the trailer but it doesn't have the "they hurt my baby" line
SpeedRcr_X

SpeedRcr_X
I also forgot how damn... dubbed Segal sounds in his lines
SpeedRcr_X
I'm almost afraid to go back through the other films of my youth... are they going to be this cringe?
Mdm_Maestro
This is how you know you've matured, dear.
SpeedRcr_X
I guess
setsy_meioh
Haruka, mature? Not in a thousand years :P
SpeedRcr_X
SUCK IT 134340!
setsy_meioh
I AM NOT A NUMBER!
Excerpt End - 05:53 PM 12/14/21

https://www.suburbansenshi.com
August 7, 2000: Chibi-Chibi was in shock over the recent breakup, when Viluy attacked using Mikuuji, determined to entrap Tuxedo Mask. As the Senshi posed and made corny speeches, Helios appeared, mocking the girls' weakness in battle. Mamoru got relentlessly hit on by Fish-Eye. When all hope seemed lost, the Senshi got a break through inspiration from the cries of the helpless. Sailor Moon used a secret weapon that up until that moment had been sitting in plain sight to win.
Hit!Graph
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> The whole point of that f[BLEEP]king finale was to get Kagome NEW SHOES




Suburban Senshi asks: How much gravey do Serena does she make?
Destroy this website!!