2245. Sailormoon S: The Nuts in the Shell07/09/22
2244. ...06/25/22
2243. Mina-P's Special Time DEBUT 04/26/22
2242. [Retraction!] Skip Wolf Warrior 204/10/22
2241. [ Movie Review ] Wolf Warrior 204/09/22
2240. A new era begins! Mina-P's Exciting time!! 02/14/22
2239. Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)12/14/21
2238. Suburban Senshi Thanksgiving Special in December! MST of The Humanoid!!12/11/21
2237. [SPAM MiST] Haruka's desperation! Searching Emails for the secret to Better Loving!!11/08/21
2236. Oh no! Someone told Aino Minako about the Squid Games!!10/18/21
2235. Hit 'em with your best shot10/15/21
2234. A Star Treks into musings of mortality10/14/21
2233. [Motoki Rescue Arc - END] What did history record!? The low effort resolution!!10/03/21
2232. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Michiru makes her move! It's a Monstrous Magia Maiden!10/02/21
2231. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Holy id, Batman! The Darkest Timeline approaches!!09/29/21
2230. [Motoki Rescue Arc] A new Challenger Appears?! Wait, that's--!09/19/21
2229. [Motoki Rescue Arc] What evil lurks in the mind of Mo'09/08/21
2228. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Breaking Through! From one crazed mind to another!!08/24/21
2227. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Into the Mind of Motoki! The only taste is Salt!!08/02/21
2226. [MOTOKI RESCUE ARC] Stranded07/23/21
2225. [Motoki Rescue Arc] Enter - THE SNOTILUS06/23/21
2224. [ Motoki Rescue Arc ] Scanning the Brain! Motoki's damaged mentality revealed!! 06/16/21
2223. Nostalgic memories and a turtle's curse! A deadline to save Motoki's soul!!06/12/21
2222. What's YOUR Youtube ASMR?06/05/21
2221. A new era of communication begins! Introducing Mugen Messenger!!06/04/21
2220. The Name Blame Game05/11/21
2219. Botched Shane MacMahon Promo or Drunk Ten'ou Haruka? YOU DECIDE!!03/09/21
2218. Exploding with Pleasure! Exploding with Passion! Exploding with Fury! Haruka's reaction to the end of AEW Revolution 2021!! (Spoilers)03/08/21
2217. A fight for the ages! The true story of Haruka and Michiru vs Usagi at Mugen!!03/01/21
2216. Haruka's Birthday is truly is an unfortunate time01/28/21
2215. The Cream Rises to the Top12/07/20
2214. Panic at the Discord11/30/20
2213. Haruka's Black Friday Mistake11/27/20
2212. Happy Thanksgiving from Suburban Senshi! 11/26/20
2211. Sketch Sessions 002 - Ongoing Fashion Disaster11/06/20
2210. A Special Election indeed (Sketch Sessions 0111/05/20
2209. In the name of the moon and the International Standards of Weights and Measures, I will punish you! 10/19/20
2208. WHAAAT? It's been eighteen years? Catching up with the Suburban Senshi!!08/25/20
2207. We always did have a blind spot for Venus-sama~08/17/20
2206. Some things are better off DEAD! The Suburban Senshi react to the rest of the Death Note Anime [Episodes 11-37]!!08/09/20
2205. 14 years late! The Suburban Senshi react to the Death Note anime! Episodes 1-10!!08/09/20
2204. Back in Blargh~08/04/20
2203. In a Hot Spot06/25/20
2202. [GrimDark Arc] Fear her Pink Sugar Heart Attack~06/04/20
2201. Art is in the voice of the beholder06/01/20
2200. [ Grimdark Arc ] Floating on Clouds Nine and Ten05/30/20
2199. [ Grimdark Arc ] All Fired up~05/26/20
2198. Where does Haruka get those wonderful suits?05/25/20
2197. Smile! You're in the Picture at last!05/24/20
2196. Haruka takes the Sailor Moon Drawing Challenge!!05/21/20
2195. Great Moments in Suburban Senshi History: Sad Departure05/19/20
2194. Family Flashback Fun 90's style05/17/20
2193. DEEP LORE DROP! The Spiritual Space-Screams of the Silver Millennium through Space and Time!05/15/20
2192. Lockdown Diversionary Tactics 05/14/20
2191. BEHIND THE SCENES - Suburban Senshi Podcast with Retro Fanfic Retrospective!04/17/20
2190. Blame Big Papa04/06/20
2189. In poor taste03/12/20
2188. More fun that a Big Daddy Turtle! Hiatus 1 and "Whatever happened to the Suburban Senshi" now in the story collections!!01/14/20
2187. Alexa, we're in the sh*t now. 01/08/20
2186. MST: Mansplaining to Women for Fun and Profit01/07/20
2185. Superhero Superstars of the WWE - Plus Ultra [Lashley]?01/03/20
2184. The Perils of Commercialization12/20/19
2183. That's one Powerful P*ssy12/19/19
2182. Flushed with Anticipation11/21/19
2181. Announcing the Suburban Senshi collections - The S and SuperS comics!09/15/19
2180. Beryl got Back (and got back~)09/14/19
2179. Twitter Test09/13/19
2178. The Sub. Senshi go to the Minnesota State Fair (by UltraMatt)09/01/19
2177. Quality Parenting08/30/19
2176. Science08/29/19
2175. Medical Heroics Plus Ultra08/28/19
2174. Motoki Finds True Love?08/27/19
2173. Hotaru wut u doing08/26/19
2172. Suburban Senshi is NOT old enough to Vote today! <_<08/25/19
2171. Suburban Senshi is OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE today! (08/25/19
2170. You've got to FIGHT... for the RIGHT... to POTTY~!08/13/19
2169. Back to the IRC II (Test)08/11/19

Legacy Archives

Suburban Senshi Entry #2239 - “Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)”
#2239 “Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)”
Excerpt Start - 05:03 PM 12/14/21

Again it wasn't my fault that Small Lady wasn't properly potty trained at the time.
Excuses, Excuses
So like I was lying in bed the other night almost f[BLEEP]king dead from a cold or something and I decided to watch an old-ass Steven Segal movie I think was recommended by some listicle on my VR headset thing
o sit u war in da metravase?
OMG the f[BLEEP]king Metaverse don't get me started on Second Life 3.0
I had the idea for the Metaverse back when BBSes started doing RIPScrip I was like why can't you make a BBS that used doors and corridors like Doom or Wolfenstien and then have an 8 bit Avatar be you
wtf r u tlaking abot i dewnt unastedn dese wurds
Don't worryy about it
ror u r ole harukra
b[BLEEP]ch you are 921 years old I do NOT want to hear that talk from you
sew rood!!1
Anyway so I like a good action flick. I decided to go watch it because I hadn't seen Segal s[BLEEP]t in like aeons
And omfg it was the most racist piece of s[BLEEP]t ever
The bad guys were Jamaicans peddling crack.
Now, the movie points this out in two ways
First, we get Hispanic Drug lords who are pissed at the Jamaicans because (and they literally say this) "you stand out. We [the Hispanics] look like them [white people]. You just draw attention to our business."
So in other words "You're black, you stick out."
THEN, they do a news report breaking down the statistics about how Jamaican gangsters are bringing crime to whitebread America, and even though they drop in a line about how it's only 3% of the immigrants doing crime, the movie of course completely undercuts that by showing almost every Jamaican in the town doing crime.
Then to drive the point home they shoot up Segal's sister's house, wounding his niece leading to a scenery=chewing "THEY HURT MY BABY!!!" line.
Which you would think youtube would have a clip of it was so overwrought but no
SO ANYWAY one interesting thing was they chose to have all the Jamaicans actually speak in natural Caribbean accents with their actual slang and lingo and stuff. Which, I wasn't expecting. I'd seen that in Luke Cage and considered thart groundbreaking
Of course here they did it to f[BLEEP]king supremely other the Jamaicians because I can bet you like 1% of the audience could understand what the hell they were saying, and it just serves to make them seem even more alien so people won't care when Segal starts shooting them up.
Even MORE on top of this they throw in the gang using Black Magic. The Columbians do their version first to try and kill the Jamaicans but it isn't strong enough
// J_Daito //
By Metallia
So, so, yeah we're in stupidly racist territory now. Then as if to try and balance the scales, they hook Segal up with Keith David (from They live and a Jamaican cop. The heroic trio GOES to Jamaica and we get this golden exchange (Paraphrased)

Keith David's Char> I gotta apologize. I thought all Jamaicans were rasta druggie gangbangers
Jamaican Cop> No man you don't have to apologize, it's just a few people making bad choices.

wew jast wew
Yeah now the reason I mentioned the fact I was watching this on Oculus was because this s[BLEEP]t was happening in front of my face and I literally could not look away (well I mean I could have taken the headset off but)
It was painful. I enjoyed the chase scenes and the clever way they tried to kill Segal with a Garbage Truck, am Excavator and a Molotov c[BLEEP]ktail, but the racism got to me
So after the movie was over I looked it up on Wikipedia to see how it was received and I read that some paper savaged it, so I followed the link to the review
And this was hilarious
The paper savaged it for being racist
(which, rightly so)
And then they said:

Ultimately, what ruined ''Marked for Death'' for me was its shameless racism. Jamaicans drop like flies in this movie, and they are stereotyped as gibbering in unintelligible Rasta accents.

Okay see, that bolded part is f[BLEEP]king racist of the reviewer
They aren't jibbering, they're talking as many Jamaicans actually do. Like, whoever was doing the script actually got a lot of the insults and things dead on.
I mean, yeah, like I said before the choice to make them not even attempt "plain" English f[BLEEP]king othered them, but there's an element of racism in expecting people to just form up to your linguistic wants and needs.
I thinkthe reviewer was going the same place as you were, Haruka-poppa, they could have perhaps said "are stereotyped by having their Rasta speech used as a means of intimidating others" or something like that.
Maybe. The other thing which I found funny was this other line in the review which said

But who wants to spend six bucks for one nifty chase scene? Mark my words-there are better ways for you to spend your money

// J_Daito //
Six bucks.
That is how you know this was written in the deep past.
Oh I found the trailer but it doesn't have the "they hurt my baby" line

I also forgot how damn... dubbed Segal sounds in his lines
I'm almost afraid to go back through the other films of my youth... are they going to be this cringe?
This is how you know you've matured, dear.
I guess
Haruka, mature? Not in a thousand years :P
SUCK IT 134340!
Excerpt End - 05:53 PM 12/14/21


January 22, 2000: Usagi was reliving the past via an extended flashback, when Jun-Jun attacked using Tobihaneru, determined to find the Light of Hope. As the Senshi powered up in righteous anger, The Amazon Trio joined them, jumping into battle only when attacked. Prince Endymion got killed. When all hope seemed lost, the Senshi got a break through new information which someone only just now rememebered. Sailor Moon used the Ginzushou to win.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> You shouldn't go around reprogramming other people's electronic women to satisfy your own needs.

Suburban Senshi: Where filler arcs come to die
Destroy this website!!