Suburban Senshi Entry #2430 - “[Suburban Senshi @ 22] Sailormoon Cosmos Review [SPOILERS]! It's all Haruka's fault!!”
#2430 “[Suburban Senshi @ 22] Sailormoon Cosmos Review [SPOILERS]! It's all Haruka's fault!!”
@spritflame
*** welcome to #suburbansenshi-backrooms
Log excerpt starts - 24 August 2024 10:37AM
Det. Ema Skye
So okay I get that The Sailor Moon manga was written by Naoko Takeuchi after Umino Gurio sold the story of your lives to her in the 90s.
But then how come the Cosmos / Stars arc is so different in the anime (which is the correct version, right?)
Mdm_Maestro
More or less dear. Some details were left out of the animation. The manga was so different, well.. you can blame Haruka for that.
@SpeedRcrX
WHY ME
Mdm_Maestro
You're the one who infuriated her to the point where she had a nervous breakdown and hate-composed a murderous scenario that slaughtered everyone.
Vermellia X. Rosso
Okay so now I have to see what happened...
@SpeedRcrX
You guys suck
* SpeedRcrX loads Cosmos into the Player *
Part 1 here we go~
Mdm_Maestro




Hmph. Sadly the same couldn't be said for us.
@SpeedRcrX




We get it. The two of you are like f[BLEEP]king rabbits.
=^catablanca^=
Well her name is Usagi.
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
...was this how I, babby was form?
@SpeedRcrX
Wow so this opening is like they fused the R / S and SuperS openings together.
Like, it's awesome and it's great to hear Moonlight Densetsu again, but it just reminds me that all Takeuchi does these days is go backwards.
@[ DR. XADiUM ]
But if it was too different people would complain
@SpeedRcrX
Oh? Hear me out. Old theme, completely new visuals. NEW SENSHI
DJ Reverend_H
Y'all got the starlights yo
@SpeedRcrX
LOL they are such garbage
Took the spotlight that should have been Mine
Mdm_Maestro
... Ours.
@SpeedRcrX
Yeah that too




WHAT THE F[BLEEP]K ARE THEY DOING THERE
GET THE F[BLEEP]K OUT




Well that's just a f[BLEEP]king lie
Mdm_Maestro
Ara, jealous?
@[ DR. XADiUM ]
It's nice to see the animation design is finally good
They sprinkled in the manga style where it was appropriate.




@SpeedRcrX
I could see a nice comedic remake done in that style like Urusei Yatsura.
Det. Ema Skye
So have things gone off the tracks yet?
@SpeedRcrX
Well the anime never covered us hanging out at the school, and Hotaru was flipping back and forth between baby and kid mode so ... half and half
So far it's not too far off.
DJ Reverend_H




OH S[BLEEP]T he got FISTED YO
Serves him right for taking my goddamn crystal yo
@Paisley Pythia Peinforte
...Weren't you just guarding that crystal for him?
DJ Reverend_H
Yo possession is 9/10ths of the law yo.
I wield this s[BLEEP]t way better than he does
Chiba_M
Don't make me take it back
DJ Reverend_H
I'll f[BLEEP]kin' cut yo balls off if you be tryin dat s[BLEEP]t yo
// J_Daito //




Hahaha the lame Naruto run
Vermellia X. Rosso
It reduces drag and increases aerodynamic efficiency
golD_lux
Sis I know you're training at Konoha Village but that's one technique you should just leave behind




golD_lux
Who's that?
flame_SNIPER
...That's Grandpa when he's in disguise.
@SpeedRcrX
Disguise?
flame_SNIPER
Yeah after all the hentai nonsense he pulled at the shrine there are warrants out for his arrest.
So whenever he's out in public and not at Planet Hentai he puts on that man-suit
// J_Daito //
I'm impressed.
Mdm_Maestro




...
IrnChef_Jovian
...you're cool too, Michiru-san!
@SpeedRcrX
Michi why are you riding her for having good taste?
Mdm_Maestro
Michiru.
[gTV]C'est_la_V
(well this is awkward...)
[gTV]Red_Crow
They f[BLEEP]king ONE SHOTTED IRON MOUSE
She was always a bit weaker but that's f[BLEEP]king stupid
@SpeedRcrX
This, Ema, is where the Manga Disease™ kicks in. She just like starts killing people
// J_Daito //




Looking good in that girly dress Ten'ou~
@SpeedRcrX
F[BLEEP]k you that's another thing Takeuchi did to get back at me, she femmed me up any chance she could get away with it, trying to erase my overpowering macho charm
...I hate them but this remix of Nagaraboshi He is pretty f[BLEEP]king good.
[gTV]Red_Crow
Aya it's you
[gTV]Aya-chan!
They're going to kill me off aren't they
@SpeedRcrX
Yeah you're f[BLEEP]ked. Sorry.
IrnChef_Jovian
...THEY JUST KILLED ME OFF WHAT THE F[BLEEP]K!
[gTV]Aya-chan!
Yay I got two!!
Mizunomics01
This is slander
PURE SLANDER
@SpeedRcrX
What the f[BLEEP]k is this tapdancing when the Starlights henshin?
[gTV]Aya-chan!
Oh no I died
[gTV]Red_Crow
F[BLEEP]king bulls[BLEEP]t
@SpeedRcrX
I told you Naoko's haterade was at full strength
It is hard to watch PTSD Usagi-chan tho.
She can be a pain in the ass but she didn't deserve this
Chiba_M
And I didn't deserve to die :<
@SpeedRcrX
Anyway
Chiba_M
I didn't deserve to die right
@SpeedRcrX
Moving on...
// J_Daito //
Who's this?




[gTV]Red_Crow
Oh that's one of the B-team, Phi.
And there I... NUMBER THREE WHAT THE S[BLEEP]T
I AM NOT THE NUMBER THREE OF THE ANIMAMATES
I'll kill her
[gTV]Aya-chan!
Well if you in that story are number three after Iron Mouse and I died does that mean you are actually Number five?
[gTV]Red_Crow
...Aya just stop talking
@SpeedRcrX




Oh you sweet summer child. This isn't real life. It's Takeuchi's rage-filled fever dream snuff fic.
[gTV]C'est_la_V
Well if you hadn't pissed her off my reputation wouldn't have been burned!!
[gTV]Red_Crow
Man she has twisted up our origin story something fierce.
I'm no Sailor Crystal thief. I AM Sailor Coronis.
@SpeedRcrX
At this point Takeuchi-sensei wasn't sweating the details much
[gTV]Red_Crow
Oh. Oh so I get one shotted by Moon. Yeah. Okay
*** Red_Crow is away f[BLEEP]k you Takeuchi
// J_Daito //
LOL THE SALT
[gTV]C'est_la_V
Galaxia killed Rei-chan and me!! :<
Like... okay in real life at the time I guess it would have still been the same... but MOH
flame_SNIPER
Ugh.
So basically we get just dropped like nothing.
@SpeedRcrX
HEY We outers had to deal with that s[BLEEP]t in SuperS
[gTV]C'est_la_V
YOU GUYS WERE JUST BEING LAZY! "Oh they can handle it!" you said while you were like, touring Africa!!
@SpeedRcrX
<_<
look the past is a different country okay
[gTV]C'est_la_V
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN HARUKA-SAN
setsy_meiou
...
@SpeedRcrX
Yeah the bloodletting continues apace
// J_Daito //
I have to give her her props. She's even brutalizing cute animals.




Det. Ema Skye
Wow. Just wow.
DJ Reverend_H




So is that what the zoomers call it these days yo
// J_Daito //
"Oh Big Daddy, show me your White-hot SOLAR SYSTEM"
@SpeedRcrX
OH SEIYA YOU TAKE THE LIBERTIES
YOU TAKE THE LIBERTIES
// J_Daito //
...the liberties you wanted to take, right :P
@SpeedRcrX
<_<
Mdm_Maestro
¬_¬
Det. Ema Skye
WOW SO ALL YOU GUYS GOT MURDERED ALREADY
@SpeedRcrX
Yeeeeaaaaah.
Except for Usagi because she's the face on the cover of the manga that pays the bills I guess.
We even got f[BLEEP]king OFFSCREENED.
// J_Daito //
There, there, Ten'ou.
Mdm_Maestro
Don't "There, there her." This whole narrative perversion is her fault!
@SpeedRcrX
Look all I did was tell her her art style was s[BLEEP]t and I needed more page time that's all
And that her plot summation was bulls[BLEEP]t and omitted all the cool parts, especially the parts where I was most cool.
And that we were all entitled to the lion's share of her profits because she was using our names and likenesses...... oh f[BLEEP]k.
[gTV]C'est_la_V
OMG NO WONDER SHE KILLED US ALL OFF
BAKA!!
THIS IS WHY THERE ARE NO ROYALTIES AND SHE EVER MAKES ANYTHING NEW!!!
@SpeedRcrX
<_< SO ANYWAY I have to give Galaxia full props for walking into a Space Bar in full f[BLEEP]king regalia.




@Sakura X. Aino
Well I mean she is Sailor Galaxia... who's she got to be afraid of?
@SpeedRcrX
Galaxia sounds way too young in this IMO
She was a lot more intimidating and terrifying IRL
Part one is done - Usagi's vowing to go fight Galaxia right now
One thing I hate about her - she never f[BLEEP]king trains and yet pulls off miracles with ⌈ LEGENDARY MYSTERIOUS MYTHICAL MYSTIC MYSTICAL PHANTOM ILLUSORY MAGICAL SPARKLING SHINING SILVER EMPYREAN IMPERIUM MOON CRYSTAL GINZUISHOU ⌋
@Sakura X. Aino
The perks of being the future queen?
When she's on her game, she's just so pure she's peerless?
I mean that's what she represents. Pure guts and compassion.
@SpeedRcrX
Yeah well the rest of us out here have to be tactical and s[BLEEP]t.
FireFly_9
If by tactical you mean "murder your friends."
@SpeedRcrX
FOR F[BLEEP]K'S SAKE HOTARU THIS IS NOT BASH ON HARUKA DAY IT'S BASH ON TAKEUCHI / SLANDEROUS COSMOS DAY
FireFly_9
whynotboth.gif
// J_Daito //
Movie two. It's like Oprah walked in and said "You get Wings! And YOU get wings! And YOU GET WINGS!"




@SpeedRcrX
So are the wings supposed to be like the thing that makes Space Travel happen?
Because we didn't need that for Sailor Teleport
[gTV]Aya-chan!
Different rules for different planets??
// J_Daito //
hahaha the movie turned you into a pile of s[BLEEP]t, Tenou




@SpeedRcrX
That b[BLEEP]ch...
flame_SNIPER
It's clearly sand?
// J_Daito //
In a shape vaguely reminiscent of a poop emoji.
flame_SNIPER
I... guess?
@SpeedRcrX
I SEE THE INSULT NAOKO
I SEE YOU
Okay fair play remaking the Sailor Stars OP was f[BLEEP]king awesome.
setsy_meiou




AT LAST a recognition that the future is fishnets!
// J_Daito //




THE SAILOR MIND
@SpeedRcrX
...what the f[BLEEP]k lol
// J_Daito //
From the mind... of Sailor.
@SpeedRcrX
Holy f[BLEEP]k they one-shotted the Starlights. I don't like those guys but damn.
// J_Daito //
This is how a child writes fight scenes to elevate the villain. Just have them curbstomp everything.
Or the good guys, for that matter. Which is why the senshi got one-shot-kills before they met the same ignominious fate.
Does... Takeuchi know how to write a fight?
IrnChef_Jovian
Well she wasn't writing a shonen?
// J_Daito //
So what you're saying is... she's literally fridging all the senshi just to get Tsukino worked up.
@SpeedRcrX
...f[BLEEP]k that is what's happening isn't it
Mizunomics01




...Lazurite crystal...
@SpeedRcrX




NGL this pleases the f[BLEEP]k out of me
Det. Ema Skye
Geez, you really hate them huh
@SpeedRcrX
Just Seiya...
Just Seiya
// J_Daito //
And now Kakyuu. WE COMPLETELY SHOULD HAVE STARTED A BODY COUNT
FireFly_9
Everyone. It's just Everyone.
// J_Daito //
"Sailor Crystals exist for peace and happiness!" she cries out as she nukeblasts Phi or Chi or whoever that was.
@SpeedRcrX
LOL I guess the fridging worked.
Oh look it's evil doppelganger us
setsy_meiou




#lifegoals
@[ DR. XADiUM ]




Well this gives me nightmare flashbacks.
[gTV]C'est_la_V
<_<; you had it coming, X-kun <_<
@SpeedRcrX
Wow an actual fight with back and forths
and of COURSE Moon has to do it on her own because everyone else is just f[BLEEP]king chopped liver, right?
F[BLEEP]k the whole Sailor Team right?
FireFly_9
...the irony of that statement coming from you is infinite.
DJ Reverend_H




.... dat look yo
@SpeedRcrX
God remember when she grew up (metaphorically) and we had to beat her ass at the Tairon Gate?




golD_lux
You decapitated her by accident LOL
@SpeedRcrX
Good times, Good times.
// J_Daito //
Happy fun Murdertime with Sailor Galaxia
flame_SNIPER
Oh look, Chaos is here
@SpeedRcrX
Oh look now everyone in the galaxy is her battery LOL
// J_Daito //
Tsukino Usagi Spirit Bomb
@SpeedRcrX
I love how this is the capstone of the whole Sailor Moon Crystal mess and the Sailor Senshi are just totally f[BLEEP]king AWOL LOL
Mdm_Maestro
Again, your fault.
@SpeedRcrX




Yeah well just like her I'm ready to move on from this bulls[BLEEP]t lol
[gTV]C'est_la_V




T_T I'm so glad they actually put in a positive happy ending for the present day not like the manga where they just wake up in some future time... T_T
flame_SNIPER
I thought that was in the manga? It's been years
Det. Ema Skye
So whatever happened to Galaxia after that? For real?
@SpeedRcrX
She was purified by Usagi-chan and became a hippie.
Det. Ema Skye
...Wut
[gTV]Aya-chan!
Yes she went out spreading peace and love and healing to the planets that were ruined in the Sailor Wars... Akane-san talked about it a little explaining how she survived the black hole!
[gTV]C'est_la_V
Oh the future stuff was after the credits...
@SpeedRcrX
Well thank god none of that s[BLEEP]t is how it really went down.
Man
The whole war with Galaxia was in '95 / '96
That anime ran until '96 for 5 years
And we've been hanging out here for 22 years as of tomorrow. That's like over four times as long.
// J_Daito //
LOL Maybe we're due for some Crisis on Infinite Earths Crystal Reboot :P
@The Intern
Trust me when I say there's no chance of that happening.
But, temporally speaking... readings do indicate a very interesting development in the multiverse worth looking in on...
@SpeedRcrX
What do you mean?
@The Intern
Let's just say that from this seed ... something has grown.
[gTV]C'est_la_V
I wonder what we'll be doing for the 25th anniversary?!
@SpeedRcrX
I can't wait to find out!
@spritflame
Log excerpt ends - 24 August 2024 8:36PM











Suburban Senshi: Arbitrary in extremis