*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= EWW Shingo!! =-'
[13:42] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Ok, this fic is called "Senshi Americana" and the Author requested we MiST it, so we did.
[13:42] <// J_Daito //> We did warn in advance that cruelty would be the order of the day as it is with all MiSTs but the author was undeterred.
[13:43] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Now this was actually a pretty decent fic, so we couldn't shred it as we normally do with the normal cannon fodder, so thanks to the miracle of taking [BLEEP] out of context, we managed to get the laugh-o-meter up (we hope)
[13:44] <// J_Daito //> The original work is here: https://www.deviantart.com/deviation/7646154/
[13:44] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> So here it is, the first of our Summer MiST attacks! Next: the Sailor Moon PGSM Dance Video!!

Gate C-3 buzzed with the squeals of teenagers walking into the terminal.

[12:38] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Whoa back in my day the metal detectors had like buzzers and shit
[12:39] <// J_Daito //> Well you see it's the result of the busted economy. These are the only jobs those kids could get.
[12:39] <GERMATOID> YOU HAVE METAL IN YOUR PURSE! (SQUEALS LIKE A TEEN)

A class from America had just arrived, coming to “experience” Japans history first hand. We must remember, of course, that the teacher still lived in the 1970s.

[12:40] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Whoa, a Time Travelling Teach...
[12:40] <GERMATOID> I GUESS IT'S TELECOMMUTING... ACROSS TIME!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Not only does he still listen to disco, he believes the Cold War is just heating up and Elvis is living in a retirement home in Miami.

[12:41] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> But... Elvis.. IS....
[12:41] <// J_Daito //> Give it up, Ten'ou.

This would explain why he didn’t consider an Internet tour, enraging parents with the $567 trip fee.

[12:41] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> The [BLEEP] tours a foreign nation on teh intarweb?!
[12:42] <// J_Daito //> Someone's getting kickbacks...

While it did cover the food, tour and show fees, it didn’t cover hotels. The teacher then contacted the sister school, Crossroads Junior High, and had the staff distribute flyers, asking for volunteer

[12:42] <// J_Daito //> Show fees? You mean the buk--
[12:42] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Shaddup Jed!
[12:43] <// J_Daito //> The Jedite was just saying...

“Can some one tell me why we just had to stop in Honolulu?” A boy with messy blonde hair walked onto the blue carpet. He let out a loud yawn that was just barely stifled by a bejeweled hand. The hand belonged to a girl with wavy, golden brown hair.

[12:43] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dude, put "Thing" back in its cage.
[12:44] <GERMATOID> THING'S GOT THE BLING-BLING ACTION GOING ON! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[12:44] <H3LLI05> Yo, chick, I'll buy yo pet for a cheap [BLEEP]ick

Her blue eyes had bags under them, showing her lack of rest on the trip.

[12:45] <// J_Daito //> That is one tough human! The Jedite is impressed with any woman who makes her EYES carry her bags!

His cheeky smile and childish giggle showed two masks; masks that his friends could see through. But that didn’t matter.

[12:46] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dude it matters TO ME, his [BLEEP]ing face is [BLEEP]ing HIDEOUS!!
[12:47] <GERMATOID> OPACITY, PLEASE!!

Pretty Solider Sailor Moon R – Senshi Americana

Amy walked along the sidewalk to the temple. She wore her favorite blue skirt and her moms black blouse. Her sandals clicked on the pavement, her purse banging on her thigh as she walked. She was glad

[12:47] <H3LLI05> Yo I wanna BE THAT PURSE!
[12:47] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Ok wait... it's Pretty Soldier, and yet she's "AMY"... WTF
[12:48] <Mdm_Maestro> (nasal dub Viluy) "Arh ewe Amy Mizoono?"

Her hand sifted through her hair, sparkling in the sun. She squinted as she looked up, and bumped into a silhouetted figure. “Oh,” the girl exclaimed. She looked back down, gazing into the eyes of her best friends’ true love. “Darien, how are you?”

[12:50] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> WTF? Mamo-chan is a midget now??
[12:50] <// J_Daito //> Look down... into his eyes....
[12:51] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> fackars sorter dan mi!!!
[12:51] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Thought you were dead, Sporticus.
[12:51] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> fak u, da slivar kistal brang mi bak, it alwaez brangs mi bak
[12:51] <// J_Daito //> The Jedite shall test this (rips off the Spore's head)
[12:52] * .'~SugaBB_2999~'. iz ded
[12:52] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh my god! You killed Chibi!!
[12:52] <GERMATOID> YOU BASTARD! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
[12:52] * .'~SugaBB_2999~'.'s corpse vanishes

“I’m good.” The twenty-something-year-old smiled at Amy. “Are you headed for the temple, too?”

[12:53] <GERMATOID> (AMY) YES, THE BACCHANALIA STARTS IN TEN MINUTES!! TEE HEE!!

“Oh, didn’t Serena tell you?” Darien pulled a flyer from his back pocket. “I’m hosting one of the American students.”

[12:54] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh, is *that* what you're calling it these days, hmm?
[12:54] <// J_Daito //> Heh the Jedite knew the Endymion had those tendencies... the Usagi became legal, and was thus too old.

“Wow!” Amy’s bright smile had shown through once more. “I’m glad she told you about it!”

[12:55] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> OMG she TOLD HIM! ABOUT *IT!*
[12:55] <Mdm_Maestro> (clucks her tongue) Ami, Ami Ami...

Darien nodded. “So am I. My apartment seems a little too big for just myself. I figured I could use a roommate.” The two laughed, and continued onto the temple.

[12:56] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yes... my apartment is too large... so I shall fill it... with a CONCUBINE
[12:56] <GERMATOID> (AMI) HA HA HA!!

When they arrived, a bunch of parents had already arrived. They held signs with names of students. Rei, a priestess to the shrine, was handing out drinks to the parents.

[12:57] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> (Rei) Vodka! Schnapps! Sake!! Pick your poison!!
[12:57] <GERMATOID> (PARENT) GIMME SOME OF THAT TEQUILA, HOTTIE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

In the background, Grandpa Hino was hitting on one of the girls who’d stopped by with her mother.

[12:58] <// J_Daito //> (Hino) Hey there, up for a menage a trois?
[12:59] <GERMATOID> (PARENT) OOH HOO HOO YOU FILTHY OLD MAN!! (^_~)

“Allison!” Amy waved her hand in the air. “Allison Blitz!”

[13:00] <GERMATOID> GESUNDHEIT!!

“WAAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!” A wail came from down the street. Around the corner came a girl with long, blonde pigtails, running at 35 miles per hour

[13:02] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Man she beat me at a race that way once, the punkass
[13:02] <// J_Daito //> How so, Ten'ou?
[13:02] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> They convinced her she was late for lunch and she TORE through the track, left me in the dust
[13:03] <GERMATOID> HEH

“Sean, this is Serena,” Rei stated nonchalantly. She walked back up the steps to help her grandfather (who was busy flipping up Allison’s skirt) clean up.

[13:03] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> OMG TOO MUCH INFORMATION
[13:03] <Mdm_Maestro> ...
[13:03] <H3LLI05> gee whizz, don't talk of the j[BLEEP]

“Domo, Mrs. Tsukino,” Sean said. “It was all very good.”

[13:04] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I'll bet it was, heh
[13:04] <GERMATOID> THAT KRAZY IKUKO! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

“Why, thank you,” she answered. “I’m very glad you enjoyed it.”

[13:05] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> oh damn.
[13:05] <GERMATOID> SELECTIVE EDITING YIELDS MAXIMUM COMEDY
[13:05] <H3LLI05> I'm blind yo. Blind.

“I know, Serena,” Luna answered, “But the dark forces are never gone. Queen Beryl came back. I wouldn’t be surprised if we were attacked tomorrow while you were at school.”

[13:06] <// J_Daito //> Jedite would! Jedite knows Beryl was the Queen of SLACKING!
[13:07] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Beryl?! Attack at a time that makes sense!? NEVAR!
[13:07] <GERMATOID> LUNA MUST HAVE HEAT EXHAUSTION

“Did you just forget, Luna?” Serena fiddled with the brooch, tossing it from hand to hand. “We have Tuxedo Mask. And Rei has school off tomorrow, so that makes two people to defend the city.”

[13:07] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oooh... two WHOLE people... way to go, subGenius...
[13:08] <GERMATOID> YEAH IT'S LIKE TWO SENSHI THINKING THEY WOULD STOP ME ALL ON THEIR OWN! MUAHAHAHHAAHAH!!
[13:08] <Mdm_Maestro> ...
[13:08] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> STFU Prof.
[13:08] <GERMATOID> MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Luna walked towards the door, and looked straight at Sean. Sean walked away, as if he just got out of the bathroom. He walked into Sammy’s room and slipped under his covers. He laid there in the dark.

[13:09] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> O_O;;
[13:09] <H3LLI05> Shingles... err Shingo is about to get some HOT Shinji-Kowaru action!!
[13:10] <GERMATOID> THIS IS TOO WHACK EVEN FOR ME....
[13:10] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- walks away as if she had just got out of the bathroom. She walked into Michiru's room...
[13:11] <Mdm_Maestro> Later, dear ^_^
[13:11] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ehehehe

The Dark General walked along the grey, dusty moon surface. People panicked all around him. They ran, screaming, from the monsters and Generals and darkness. Two more joined him in walking, one of them causing chaos with fire, the other causing some tremors.

[13:11] <// J_Daito //> So Zoisite is being pyromaniac as usual, and Kunzite continues his struggles with Tourette's....

Sean woke up in a cold sweat. The moon shone through the window, illuminating his pale face. He took some time to catch his breath, and to allow his heart to calm down. He rested his head on the sweat soaked pillow, going through the images in his nightmare. Was I on the moon? It seemed impossible to him.

[13:12] <H3LLI05> You were on the "moon" all right... the sea of shingoity
[13:12] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Damn Sammy Shingo... damn... hahah if it was the WWF he would be "Papa Shingo"
[13:13] <GERMATOID> WELL YOU WENT INTO THE SHEETS SO ALL NIGHTMARES ARE YOUR OWN

Miss Haruna slammed her ruler on her desk, gathering the attention of all the students, both foreign and citizens. After eyeing all of the troublesome ones (which meant many glares to Serena and Molly), she smiled, standing up from hunching over her desk. “Class, I’d like to welcome you the 6th grade class from Angel Grove Junior High.”

[13:15] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> [BLEEP] no.
[13:15] <// J_Daito //> The Jedite smells Power Rangers.
[13:16] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> It's BARFING time!
[13:16] * GERMATOID HUMS THE THEME SONG

Lita looked to her left, out the window. She watched a bird, chirping with it’s mate, not knowing of it’s future. Everything’s going to be okay.

[13:16] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> No Lita, it's cussing you out with it's bud.
[13:16] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> And the baby is Kane's.
[13:17] <// J_Daito //> No one is going to get that, Ten'ou.

Outside of a McDonalds, a woman dressed up in a yellow bird costume was giving out coupons for a free sundae. She shoved one into the hand of the large man, her smile blinding the little children. The

[13:18] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Freaky bird woman blinds kids: News at 11

Darien Shields was a witness to the mayhem. He saw the logo, hanging by a thread. He knew that the woman wouldn’t be able to stand up in her condition, let alone flee from danger. Darien wasn’t one to play the hero; that was Tuxedo Mask’s job. But, with the proverbial clock ticking, and being surrounded by anonymous faces, he knew that this was the time for the citizen of Tokyo, not the previous prince of Earth. He ran to the woman, grabbing her by her collar, and carried her out of harms way.

[13:19] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> (Mamo) "Hey baby... my apartment... it is... quite LARGE... would you like to come live in it with me?
[13:19] <GERMATOID> (WOMAN, FALSETTO) "BUT I'M BLEEDING FROM THE HEAD AND DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON..."
[13:20] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> (Mamo) "That just makes it better, babe."

The bullets were sent with such velocity that only the metal of the car doors could protect the officers. Two of the policemen fell, dark red liquid expanding from their lifeless bodies.

[13:21] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> WTF? Ketchup?
[13:22] <GERMATOID> CATSUP
[13:22] <// J_Daito //> No it is the Soy Sauce
[13:22] <Mdm_Maestro> Someone call Teresa Heinz Kerry.

Darien watched in horror as this invincible beast just brushed off heavy gunfire like they were spitballs. He edged away, trying to stay out of the behemoths view. The man ducked into an alley, and ran down into the metro station. Darien walked over to a payphone, inserted the coins he needed, and dialed the numbers. The phone rang, rang, and rang, until the machine picked up. When the message ended, the beep went off, signaling Darien to speak.

[13:22] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> See you could have just used 1-800-COLLECT
[13:23] <GERMATOID> 1-800-CALL-ATT
[13:23] <Mdm_Maestro> Why doesn't Mamoru have a communicator?
[13:23] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Because Mamoru is a wanna-be in a Tux.

“Rei, it’s Darien. Meet me at the radio tower as soon as possible, preferably now. We’ve got trouble.”

[13:24] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> "Yes, I have a 'lack of love-love' emergency!!"
[13:24] <GERMATOID> PREPARE FOR TROUBLE-- AND MAKE IT DOUBLE!!

Justin walked up to the front of the class, bowing. “Hello. I’m Justin Stewart. I’m 12-years-old, and I teach karate back home.”

[13:25] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hello, I'm Haruka Ten'ou and I get drunk off my [BLEEP] back home.
[13:25] <// J_Daito //> Hello. I am the Jedite and I crush the life out of mine enemies with brutal merciless force back home.
[13:25] <GERMATOID> HELLO! I'M SOUICHI TOMOE AND I MAKE TONS OF COFFEE WHILE PLANNING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND SEE IF MY BERYL-CLONE'S GOT BACK BACK HOME! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[13:26] <Mdm_Maestro> Hello, I am Kaioh Michiru and I have more money and worldly goods than your peasant mind could ever imagine back home.
[13:27] <H3LLI05> Hey yo, I gots me a phatass waterbed back home. Any of you chicks wanna help me test it??

Amy and Allison were busy sharing a sandwich, and Justin was trying some of Lita’s lunch.

[13:28] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> No... f'n comment.
[13:28] <H3LLI05> YO I'd like to try some of Lita's "Lunch"...
[13:29] <GERMATOID> I LIKE THIS FIC LOL

“I made it myself,” she said, smiling. “It’s some kind of pita. I found it in one of my old cook books.”

[13:29] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> So you found a Pita in your old cookbook and are feeding it to someone...

Swallowing, the boy sighed in delight.

[13:30] <GERMATOID> GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!!

““Mr. Stewart was trying to make a lasagna one night, but he’d added in pizza sauce instead of the tomato sauce.” Sean leaned back onto the tree. “Let’s just say it took less than thirty minutes!”

[13:30] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I sense some kind of erotic food joke here, but the specific details elude me.
[13:31] <// J_Daito //> Best that you do not ponder, Ten'ou.

“Luna?” Amy nudged Lita, who nodded. Amy stood up, brushing her skirt off. “Sorry, guys. Serena, Lita and I have some business to take care of.”

[13:32] <H3LLI05> THREE WAY!
[13:32] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Damn Amy's a TRAMP! I needs to watch the dub more often!!
[13:32] <Mdm_Maestro> Yes... "cousin"...
[13:32] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> (Luke Skywalker) No! It's not possible!! You're lying!!
[13:33] <Mdm_Maestro> (Vader) Search your feelings. You know for this to be true.
[13:33] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> (Skywalker) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

That left the rest wide-eyed and embarrassed or their comrade. Molly took a bite out of her Twinkie.

[13:34] <H3LLI05> I'd be hella impressed, myself...
[13:34] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Naru too?! DAMN!
[13:34] <// J_Daito //> Technically Jedite is Naru's brother-in-law.
[13:35] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Scary.

“How long was your flight?” Her red hair glistened in the specks of sunlight that made their way through the leaves and branches. “Oh, I don’t know.” Allison thought for a moment before answering. “Um, I think about 34 hours. We were asleep for most of it but-“

[13:35] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dr. Ruth had a term for that falling asleep during "flight" [BLEEP]
[13:40] <// J_Daito //> Romanians have had their ears cut off for less.

The girl was interrupted by a loud siren coming from the city. Students ran into the school, all not knowing what the siren held in store for them. Sean and Allison ran inside with Molly. Justin, on the other hand, ran toward the sound of the siren. He flicked his left wrist; summoning a large, watch like device. He flicked the other wrist, and an odd key in his hand. The boy continued running, crossing his arms over his face to block out the sun.

[13:41] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> It's Morphin' time!!
[13:41] <// J_Daito //> More like "Morphine" time.
*** Disconnected