#996: “GTV News Update”

July 4th, 2006


[17:04] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Welcome to Ginga TV Network News' inaugural broadcast, for July 7th, 2006. I'm Karasuma Akane.

[17:04] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> And I'm Aya Reiko! It's very nice to meet you!!

[17:04] * Aya_Reiko bows

[17:04] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Who the hell are you bowing t--- nevermind

[17:05] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> We start off our news report this week with headlines from Anime News Network.

[17:05] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, according to them, Jakks plans to launch a "diverse line of toys and related products" for Pokemon beginning spring 2007.

[17:06] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In related news, several small Alabama boys have been arrested for tryign to stuff their gerbils into small airtight balls and then ordering them to attack senior citzens on command.

[17:07] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Viz Media's 13-episode uncut, subtitled Naruto box set was released at Anime Expo the week of June 29th

[17:07] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> 12 and a half episodes of which were filler about Sakura's attempts to master "Hair-Dye no Jutsu".

[17:09] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Tokyopop corporation, famous for its handling of the Sailor Moon Manga, has gotten into the Digital Music Scene, with three original soundtracks available now.

[17:09] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> All the soundtracks were redubbed into Britney Spears going "Opps, Kevin and I did it AGAIN" for the benefit of pop listeners not fond of Techno.

[17:10] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In news from Japan's Animation industry, in his latest director's diary, Gedo Senki director Goro Miyazaki asks that reporters stop trolling for problems between him and his famous father.

[17:10] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> So we shouldn't talk about the knife fight in the back alley with the Yaukza pimps then??

[17:10] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> no.

[17:10] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ok

[17:11] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Namco Bandai is developing a follow-up to "Saint Seiya: The Sanctuary" titled "Saint Seiya: The Hades".

[17:12] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In reply, an illiterate american Otaku raised only on a diet of DBZ and Yu-Gi-Oh replied: "Saint Seiya: the f[BLEEP]k?"

[17:12] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> A trailer for Michael Bay's live-action Transformers film is now onilne.

[17:12] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> what.

[17:12] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> A trailer for Michael Bay's live-action Transformers film is now online.

[17:13] * Karasuma_Akane leaps over the news desk screaming "get awya from the internet computer!

[17:13] *** Please Stand By, technical Difficulties

[17:13] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, Akane-san is a big fan~

[17:13] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> The trailer is here.

[17:15] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Geneon announced that New Generation Pictures will produce the English dub for Hellsing Ultimate with the original voice cast.

[17:16] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In related news two welshmen and a scot were flown in to Texas.

[17:16] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Geneon Entertainment also announced today they have acquired the license for Hello Kitty: Stump Village.

[17:18] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Audience feedback testers are not sure how well the story of a psychotic, drug-crazed Hello Kitty and her village of captive legless children will play in the violence-phobic United States.

[17:19] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Seven Seas Entertainment has announced that they have licensed the novel Shinigami no Ballad.

[17:22] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> The idea of Duo Maxwell dancing a hot and heavy Tango with Kurosaki Ichigo does not seem to be going over to well, unfotunately.

[17:22] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Funimation has announced that they have acquired the rights to and will be releasing Solty Rei.

[17:23] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> This caused a brif panic at Hikawa Jinja as about 100 hormone-crazed teens raided the shrine hoping to meet a "Salty Rei" Hino. Several deaths by incineration have been reported

[17:24] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Mainichi news is hosting a new daily "Manglish" section with English pop-up translations of Japanese manga text. Today's feature is part 1 of Gyugo Hazuki's "A Six Feet Girl."

[17:25] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Tomorroe will be part 2, "Happosai looks up her skirt."

[17:25] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Viz Media has acquired the license for Inu Baka.

[17:26] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Inuyasha.

[17:26] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Viz Media has acquired the license for Inu *Baka*, Akane-san.

[17:26] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Inu Yasha

[17:26] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Inu Baka

[17:26] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Is there a difference?

[17:26] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> We both know the answer to that

[17:27] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Hai~

[17:27] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Turning now to ICV2

[17:28] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> their headline: "Graphic Novels for Kids Proliferate"

[17:28] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Today's youth really are into some graphic things, aren't they?

[17:29] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Capturing animals and torturing them to fight each other in endless battles

[17:29] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> c[BLEEP]kfights?

[17:29] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Pokemon.

[17:32] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> VIZ Celebrates the End of Kenshin Manga with an annoucement that a New Kenshin novel on the way

[17:32] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> And after that trading cards, video games and poorly produced rehash OVAs

[17:33] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> "We're not stopping the license trail till the manga-ka drops dead!"

[17:34] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Akadot reports "Popular Sega RPG to be Made Into Manga - Shining Tears in GanGan Powered"

[17:34] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> We dont' speak Engrish on ginga TV, Aya.

[17:35] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> In other news, Japan's maid cafes go mobile

[17:35] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In a related story, Ginga seeks Venture Capital to start a similarly demeaning service in the United states to fleece Horny Otaku.

[17:40] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> In our last bit of news, we've found out that musical rap group the RZA will Score Music For the upcoming AFRO SAMURAI -

[17:44] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> The RZA is no stranger to controversy, having annoyed the United League of Anal Maths Majors with their line from the Kill Bill Soundtrack that Oren Iishii was "Half Chinese, Half-Japanesey, Half American"

[17:45] * Aya_Reiko hears an explosion from the side of the studio

[17:45] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, they're coming back, and they have metersticks

[17:46] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Crap. That's it for this week. End Transmission.










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