Sorry its been so long since I last wrote an entry. I've been hiding out from Azama's lawyers in the supermarket, living off of my several hundred gift certificates. Today I made a fort in the cereal aisle! Its the most delicious fun I've had in a while.
So the year is finally ending, huh? Its been a good year. I had so many things to eat! In fact I wrote it ALL down! Here we go, starting with A:
My resolution for this year is to make the 2004 list 2,000 pages instead of 1,500!
Today after opening my presents (THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL SUPERMARKET GIFT CERTIFICATES MOMMY!!! I LUV U!!!) I ran to McDonalds to get my breakfast of 30 McGriddles. I made my own key to let myself in so it didn't matter that they were closed; nothing stops me from my McGriddle craving. NOTHING. Just thinking about their deliciousness (mmm.... sausage + egg + cheese + grease + sweet pancake + built in syrups + grease + grease) makes my mouth water. These ones were even a bit green, full of Christmas cheer!
Anyway, as I sat there daintily eating, I noticed Azama-chan walking down the street. I was bored so I grabbed the 10 McGreasiddles that were left and followed her. She got onto a train, and I got a ticket and went too, staying at a far enough distance that she couldn't see me. Finally we reached the last stop, which turned out to be near the beach. She got out of the train and walked down to the beach, stood in the shallow water, and just stared out at sea.
Okinawans are so strange. I decided to surprise her so I shoved her into the water.
I hear she'll get over the pneumonia soon. The lawyers tell me that our defense is that its her own fault for going to the beach in the middle of winter, and when I'm hungry I do crazy things like stalk people. We'll probably win because she's just a wacky Okinawan.
Today, I went to a Christmas party hosted by Sawai Myu. She has invited everyone from the Sailor Moon cast. We hung out, listened to Christmas music, chatted about life and about anticipated presents, and my favorite part, the FOOD!
They had lots of sweet delicious snacks from candied chocolate popcorn to chestnuts mont blanc. I was almost pegged to the snack table. Unfortunately, before I seriously got into the snacks, Azama-chan dragged me off to playing some stupid game called "smash the piņata". Why did she have to distract me from where the action is really at?!!
In the whole time, almost no one managed to dent the piņata. In fact, Entou-chan missed hitting the piņata completely and got Jyoji-chan instead. This angered Jyoji-chan and caused him to chase Entou-chan around the living room until Myu-Chan restrained Jyoji from attempting to punch Entou. Man, those two guys were pathetic. At least we women managed to hit the piņata at least once. Finally, Sugimoto-san managed to smash the piņata without the stick by pummeling it with her fists! Now she is one woman I can definitely respect!!!
After 2 hours of playing that weird game, a Western-style Christmas-eve dinner was served. We had 5 heads of Virginia ham, 4 roast ducks, 7 string bean casseroles, mashed potatoes, and lots of dinner rolls. For dessert, we had a large heaping of plum pudding, pumpkin pie with red bean ice cream, and more. Seems like Myu-chan really knows my appetite and prepared accordingly. That really made my Christmas eve!!
Now to await Christmas day and the most important part of it.....ATTACKING THE CHRISTMAS CAKES!!!! WHEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Hama Chisaki wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!!
Happy Delicious Holidays!!
How has everyone been? Dandy? like sour candy I hope. These days have been going by very fast and now X-mas is here and it is cold as an ice cream in the butt. Did everyone listen the the broadcast? They had a song by that girl who plays Sailor Moon on it. Wasn't that crap bad? gosh gee willy! Even Hama would not touch it if it was coved in chocolate with sprinkles on top, rolled in bacon. I assume all have gotten my single, because if you did not, Hama will not be happy and an unhappy Hama leads to mass sexual destruction.
I have heard from many people that my American followers cannot enter Hama's own personal site. Yes, Hama made it that way so that all Americans will beg for the sweet, sweet love of Hama and all her naughtyness and spice. Or you can just pay the fee and get some love in the mail.
P.S. Business men get a discount
Happy Hama Hams and Hagen Das to All.
I'm feeling a bit peckish right now. I had a lot of shopping to do today, so I couldn't eat much for breakfast. Let's see...
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 2 turtle soups and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 5 golden cakes, 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 6 sugar cookies, 5 golden cakes, 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 7 sashimi rolls, 6 sugar cookies, 5 golden cakes, 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 8 glasses of milk, 7 sashimi rolls, 6 sugar cookies, 5 golden cakes, 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 9 lady fingers, 8 glasses of milk, 7 sashimi rolls, 6 sugar cookies, 5 golden cakes, 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 10 garden salads, 9 lady fingers, 8 glasses of milk, 7 sashimi rolls, 6 sugar cookies, 5 golden cakes, 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 11 cannelloni, 10 garden salads, 9 lady fingers, 8 glasses of milk, 7 sashimi rolls, 6 sugar cookies, 5 golden cakes, 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
For my very small breakfast, my mama gave to me: 12 chicken drumsticks, 11 cannelloni, 10 garden salads, 9 lady fingers, 8 glasses of milk, 7 sashimi rolls, 6 sugar cookies, 5 golden cakes, 4 apple pies, 3 game hens, 2 turtle soups, and a turkey filled with stuffing.
This was Hama Chisaki. ::burp!:: (that means I liked the meal)
Guess what??? Thaaaaaaaaaat's right! I caught up with my stalker today and I asked him where he got the [random crap] from. I finally found out!! So do you want to know where its from? Do you? Do youuu? I know you do! You're just dying for me to tell you the answer! [stupid filler text] So heeeeeeeeeere we go, I'm going to tell you now! Its frooooooom.... Taiwan! Yeah! Everyone has one of these right! I'm completely normal! And now I know where the [random crap] is from! Wooohooo! Aren't you excited for me?? Yay yay! Clap clap! Bash bash! Sooka sooka! Meep meep! Boing!
This is Hama Chisaki. Today Hama is going to write a story.
Once upon a time there was TURKEY LEGS a little girl who liked her pet RAMEN dog. One day she decided FISH STICKS to walk her dog to the local PORK CHOPS park. Her dogs name BUBBLE TEA was Chichi and he ROAST BEEF liked to be walked. So little girl decided HAMBURGER to give him a bath. Chichi CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP hated baths because they reminded him of his drowning experience at the ocean. FRENCH FRIES So he bit the little girl and she died of an infection BEEF STEW. The end
Hama is feeling down today. Hama's mother didn't make Hama's favorite food last night so that is why Hama's story is sad in the end. Hama has to go finish off a book report for class because Hama's teacher said Hama added weird food words in it and talked in third person. Hama doesn't understand what Hama's teacher is coming from. So off Hama goes.
Today my stalker gave me some [random crap.] I'm so excited!! Its from [OVERSEAS]!! Anything from [OVERSEAS] is cool!! BUT I wonder exactly where its FROM?? OMG OMG OMG THIS IS SO COOL! I mean, everyone has one of these right?! But where's it from??
Guess what everyone! Hama here just had her first baby... baby cow that is. Here in the land of the rising sun as you all must know a pound of meat cost more than a Hello Kitty stereo system. Especially this baby cow I had heard about from an American exchange student, he had called it veal I believe. I was told that the baby cow is raised in a small pen where it only has room to stand and soon is old enough to send to the butcher to be made in to yummy delicious food for my belly. (rubs belly and smiles at it, as it growls back) So the two of us found an American restaurant and ordered some veal, fries, pork chops, a whole turkey, and a push cart of desserts. My friend Billy Joe had some green stuff in a dish with these weird red round objects.
As I placed the piece of baby cow in my mouth it practically melted. I was in heaven. My heaven being an all you can eat international buffet that never closes and God and Buddha are my eating buddies. After I had consumed the table of food I couldn't stop and started attacking the other customers. Knocking old Japanese women and men out of the way to get to their plate of delight. Out of no where the cook came running out of the kitchen shaking his butcher knife and yelling naughty words at me. I screamed and began to run around the tables as he chased me. I started to wheez and decided I couldn't go on much more. Being the nimble girl I am, I back flipped onto the table behind me. The cook did the same and we began to knife fight on the table tops. I easily defeated him by knocking his knife out of his hands and jumped onto his shoulders, breaking his neck with my thighs of sexy steel. After I asked for a doggie bag and was on my way home. Overall my day was just a normal one with the usual knife fight and breaking of a neck. Ohhh.... it is almost time for my midnight snack, I have to get the roast out of the oven. This has been Sexy Thighs AKA Hama (I'll snatch your cookies) Chisaki
Last Thursday I decided to observe the American holiday Thanksgiving. I thought about making my site viewable to them again but went against it because of all their food related jokes toward me. Thursday I had a turkey, potatos, carrots, ham, pudding, pie, and all the fixings. When my parents came home they got mad at me for cooking all the food in the freezer and eating it all, not leaving them any. I was JUST trying to go all out on the holiday. It's not like I hate Americans. I mean I love anyone who can make a hamburger in less then a minute its just the stupid jokes about my appetite. Well EXCUSE ME for wanting to eat something. I'm lucky...I mean I don't have to worry about starving though heartburn is a major problem. Last night I had heartburn like you wouldn't believe! I guess I shouldn't have my quarter to midnight snack before the midnight snack. I heard somewhere that eating after 8 oclock will give you a greater chance of it but I don't believe that. I mean I eat at 7, 8:45, 9:15, 10, 11:45, and at midnight because I NEED to, not cuz I have some sorta problem those blasted Americans think I do. THEIR the ones with the problems considering that 60% of their population is fat.
Anyway today we where taping a fight scene. I started to drool because the guy dressed up as a monster looked like a chicken drum. I had that same problem during the fourth episode. That one creature who splits into three looked like corn on the cob. I was SOOOOO hungry then. Director-san had decided to work through all my snack breaks AND lunch. He is sooo mean! He allowed the others to go to lunch break. I mean Sawai had the yummiest looking wild rice and bean dish you wouldn't believe but I had to redo my scene with the monster at different angles. Director-san said there was no other time to do it but lunch time so I had to. Afterwards I went to the local McDonalds and had 42 of those dollar burgers. Like I said it was all to me in 5 minutes. Anyway Director-san is calling me again to do ANOTHER scene near lunchbreak. I think he's got something out against me. Well I'll see you guys around. This was Hama Chisaki.
While walking down the food court at the outside shopping area I tried to blow a bubble from my gum but instead I spat the gum out by accident. I began to scream and run around the gum (roast chicken flavor) but no one would help me at all, so I took the situation into my own hands and picked up the gum and began to chew it again. It was better than ever! Lucky me it landed on a half eaten pastry. The sensation was amazing, like a chicken dinner with mouth watering dinner rolls. Without thinking I began to moan with delight and rubbed my body. I didn't even notice the old business men watching me, but they left me a nice tip. It allowed me to purchase a new pack of bacon gum. I'm very happy at the moment and hope that the gums will ease me off full course meals. One pack at a time. This has been The Cookie Monster AKA Hama Yo Mama. I wish everyone belly full holidays.