This is Suburban Senshi's tribute to the Goddess of Love and War, the lovely Aino Minako. Many Happy returns, Minako-chan, and may your legend live on for many years to come!! o without further ado:

The Suburban Senshi Aino Minako Top 10 Birthday tribute!!

Haruka and Michiru's Top 10 Neko-chans from other lands:

(Written by MICHIRU because Haruka was too BUSY playing her PIRATED copy of Half Life 2 to think about you as more than an afterthought, Minako-dear. Happy birthday. -- K.M.)

  • 10. Korean Minako: Does not have Artemis anymore because she got the munchies one night.

  • 09. French Minako: Hasn't showered in 33 days and thinks that's a-okay.

  • Luxembourg Minako: Has a wonderful boyfriend, a sparkling personality, aces all her tests, and is a sports champion. In other words, she doesn't exist, just like Luxembourg.

  • 07 North Korean Minako: No information available, you capitalist pig-dog.

  • 06. Australian Minako: Met a kangaroo one day, dissapeared for a few months into the outback, then came back and was elected Prime Minister the next day.

  • 05. Ghana Minako: Winner of the 2004 "Miss lip disc" contest

  • 04. Russian Minako: Vodka, straight. Now get out of her way, the banya calls.

  • 03. Saudia Arabian Minako: Strapped stereos to her chest then turned them on in a crowded marketplace.

  • 02. Argentinian Minako: Don't cry for her. No seriously, if you show any interest she won't stop hounding you with her awful rendition of Madonna's Evita.

  • 01. American Minako: Why the same thing we do every night Arty, try to take over the world!

Jedite - Top 10 things that scare Aino about her closet:

Hmph. Congratulations on being one year closer to death, Aino. Savour your life-juices while you still have them.

  • 10. New Kids on the Block CDs. Like, ew.

  • 09. Plate of meatloaf from 2 years ago

  • 08. All the mail that she got from when Makoto pranked her and subscribed her to Vote Nader 2004

  • 07. Closet was supposedly built on an indian burial ground. Yes, the only Native American tribe in Japan, located exclusively in the confines of where her closet now stands.

  • 06. Staple monster

  • 05. Collection of Disformed Autobots from her phase when she tried to figure out if there really was more to them than meets the eye

  • 04. Soccer riot gear

  • 03. Every issue of "Sailor V in Dildoland" that she could find. No greasy nerds are going to get their grubby hands on that doujinshi! [Suit letters located in dresser drawer, currently awaiting verdict]

  • 02. Every issue of "Sailor Moon in Dildoland" that she could find. Noted as, "For use in case of emergency, i.e. Usagi eats my piece of pie again."

  • 01. Used kitty condoms

Hotaru - Minako's Top 10 mangled book titles.

These are the "books" Minako-sempai has claimed to borrow from my personal library over time. Happy birthday, Minako-sempai, and may you have many happy returns :)

  • 10. Lord of the French Fries

  • 09. The Hockycure. (The Hakagure)

  • 08. Thus Spark ZarthoweveryouspellthatguysnamefromBabylon5

  • 07. War and Reeses Pieces

  • 06. The whizzer in Oz

  • 05. Rip Van Tinkle

  • 04. A Raisin in the buns

  • 03. Anne of Avon Cosmetics

  • 02. Tales from the Arabian Fights

  • 01. A Tale of two shi[BLEEP]tings

Prof. Tomoe - Minako-kun's Top 10 Historical Blunders After Finding Tomoe's Time Machine


  • 10. Thought JFK was a cutie, and, standing below a book depository, asked him to slow down for a picture as the motorcade drove by.

  • 09. Tokyo Rose? No no no, they found her innocent.

  • 08. That Jesus guy totally ripped her off on that miracle she paid for. She informed Pontius Pilate right away, like any good citizen would!

  • 07. When Asa Candler, founder of the Coca-cola company, was contemplating removing cocaine from the recipe, she encouraged him to add more. The product, "Cocacoca Cola," was partially responsible for World War III.

  • 06. Meiji Revolution is now called Dance Dance Meiji Revolution

  • 05. Stepped on a fly in jurassic period, ushering our new era of domination by 3 toed sloths.

  • 04. Convinced FDR to allow Japan to bomb pearl harbor because of some jerk in the US Navy who dumped her

  • 03. Thought the new 2-celled ameoba was really cute, named him Ame-ame-chan. Hugged him to death. Progress delayed by 2 billion years.

  • 02. Laughed at Napoleon for being short, then ran off to Waterloo.

  • 01. The ending of Evangelion now makes sense

Artemis - Top 10 Failed Practical Jokes

Minako, you've come a long way these past few years... It's a pity you had to die [he think she's dead, he's psychologically traumatized - ed] But I like to remember you in your prime, with all those practical jokes of your that never went quite right... I'm crying now... Minako.... MI NA KO!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!

  • 10. Replaced the operating system in the Mercury computer with Windows 95; Ami countered by recoding it into XP and selling it to Bill Gates for an undisclosed sum.

  • 09. Put a live turtle in the crane game at crown Game Center to scare that nerd Umino; instead got Motoki fixated on them in an unhealthy way.

  • 08. Set up Makoto on a date with Evander Holyfeld to see who would win in a fight; Holyfield blames the loss of his ear on Tyson, ruining Tyson's career.

  • 07. Decided it would be funny to give a midget tickets to the Neverland Ranch.

  • 06. Replaced all Mamoru's cool clothes with pimptastic green pukey ones; Mamoru did not notice the difference.

  • 05. Replaced Chibiusa's Halloween M&M's with Viagra; Men of the world live in perpetual fear.

  • 04. Rewrote the script of Star Wars Episode 1 to include a loveable fop named Jar-Jar Binks; Lucas Liked it

  • 03. Found Ail and Ann's small bean plant and fed it two tons of "Super Grow" Plant food.

  • 02. Replaced all of Hotaru's medieval wallscrolls with copies of the Pop-up Kama Sutra; Instead of being scandalized, Hotaru didn't leave her library for some weeks.

  • 01. Spread rumours that Haruka was a Prince of Uranus, tried again some years later, implying Michiru was her cousin.

Helios: Minako's Sadass 7 Famous First Loves

Yo yo my hot-a[BLEEP]s goddess of love, / you an' me fit together like a fist in a velvet glove; Our love is destined by fate / hell, there ain't no one you won't date! Don't get pissed I ain't be lying / take a look at my list, you left these homiez cryin'! You had so much game, when you left them, they weren't never the same! Ya only get seven till you take me to heaven! Happy birthday yo, take it easy /don't let the idea of horsely love get ya queasy! Word!

  • 07. Sean Penn don't make sense no mo / yo dumping him by phone blew his brain out da door

  • 06. After Justin Timberlake felt the power of yo' no show / he became N'Syncs' Yoko Ono!

  • 05. Yo' left gentle Eminem in a rage / Now he jumps around like a gangsta in a cage

  • 04. Ben Affleck wanted to be yo man / But he wasn't parta yo' plan / so he had nowhere to go / but dat skank J-Lo

  • 03. You dated that dude from Coldplay and left him cold / now he's stuck with Gwenny Paltrow

  • 02. Keanu Reeves can't say s[BLEEP]t / when you left his a[BLEEP] at church, his brain couldn't take da hit

  • 01. Speaking of who, you dated both Bill an' Ted / when you left Bill, his career just went DEAD.

Setsuna: Minako's Top 5 Fashion Disasters

The top five because I don't have "time" for this, the Queen is bawling for my attention. Congratulations on surviving another year, Minako. *smiles engimatically*

5. Pretty in Plaid - Minako went for the southern belle / funky fresh flower femme look,,, all at the same time.

4. Sunflower girl - Minako decided to show her "fresh face" to the world by placing a flower on her dress that was almost as tall as HER. Galling Freudian subtexts aside, her fans reportedly all suffered from massive asthmatic attacks due to their sudden pollination whilst asking for autographs.

3. Alien Idol - In one last attempt to make her mark as a super Idol, Minako went for this super surreal look, forever burning her image into the Japanese Public Eye as "that girl who looks like she's being attacked by a giant space butterfly and its army of neon hula hoops"

2. Marlboro Minako - Hungry for food, Minako accepted RJR Morris' proposal to do some modeling work for their "Lung Cancer? What me, Worry?" Campaign, leading to this unfortunate era in her fashion history. But nothing could beat:

1. The "buff duff" look - Minako's worst fashion faux pas probably got her episode 42 banned from the DiC airwaves. When Usagi-chan said "Minako is much more grown up than we are" she MEANT IT.

Doctor Xadium's Top 10 fanart gifts for Minako-sama

These are a fraction of the different CG / fanarts that I've done featuring the lovely Minako over the years. Happy birthday! ♡

10. Ishar - Minako's legend extends far into the past....

09. Classical Beauty - Minako's elegant grace enriches us.

08. Naptime Minako - A study of the lovely Minako-sama while curled up sleeping.

07. Lounge Diva Mina - The Sultry and Smooth goddess of Sultry Smoothness soothes the savage heart.

06. Moonlit Minako - spectacular view of a Japanese city (and the charming Minako-chan). Meant for use by those who like dark desktops.

05. Smile, Baka! - Minako brings cheer into everyone's lives just by being.

04. Olympic Volleyball Minako - Minako's athleticism inspires us to reach for our goals, no matter how high.

03. Minapatra - A "white day" gift for Minako-sama, treating her as she duly deserves to be treated ^_^

02. Sailor V Remix - A remix of the Sailor V shot from episode 1 of the anime, redone in correct manga style.

01. Goddess Venus - Minako as she truly is, the lovely goddess of Beauty and War ♡

Minako's Vengenace 8!!

Wow... I happen to find my birthday page and then I see all these wonderful *lists* about me... well I guess I have to get a list in too!! Because turnabout is foul play!! And revenge is dish best served bold!! So now face the wrath of V-chan's revenge-revenge attack!!

  • 08. Haruka-san: I don't think you want anyone to know about how you tried to wear a speedo to the beach, or how you wear men's briefs to sleep and leave the toilet seats up!!

  • 07. Michiru-san: Maybe the world would be scandalized if they knew you, the super-cultured one, still played with kid's toys!! Yes, I know ALL about the Hello Kitty thing that glows in the dark and makes a strange whirring noise!! I don't know what you do with it, but I HAVE seen you taking it to sleep every night!! Hah! Who knew you still loved Hello Kitty so much!!

  • 06. Hotaru-chan: You always make fun of my reading skills, but I know the *real* reason you have all those renny-seance books in your room bookmarked to Michealangelo's "David"!! I mean, sure he was a good sculptor for a Ninja Turtle, but I think you admire his "attention to detail" a little *too much*, ne??

  • 05. Jedite: You're such a big man, going through my closet, huh?? Well how come the last time I looked in YOURS, Zoisite came running out of it in his shorts?!

  • 04. Tomoe-hakase: I remember that time you told the others you were going to make Tasty Coffee but then you realized you had run out of coffee beans so you went ahead and used Natto beans instead... at least you TOLD them it was Natto... I have my *own* theories as to why it was so sticky-looking... wasn;t that the same day you were looking at pictures of the other Kaolinite clone?!

  • 03. Elios: Chibiusa-chan lied about her age. She really is only 8 years old. Welcome to hell.

  • 02. Setsuna-san: I'd say something scandalous about you, but everyone already knows you're Mamoru-san already anyway.

  • 01. Artemis: I have only one thing to say to you:

    That's not your wife.

  • 00: X-chan: For revealing the secret of the pansu, you will suffer. You know what they say, "Life's a witch and then you cry"!

And as a special birthday present to all of you, Sailor Venus herself welcomes you to our site!

Venus welcomes you to
Venus welcomes you to Suburban Senshi IRC
HUGE thanks to the lovely Stephanie Morgenstern for the lines, and to our own Lunar Archivist for getting them from her. Blame all audio quality issues on Dr. Xadium, as this was the best he could do by way of cleaning them up.

Thanks to Jay Navok and Ikari Shinji for helping out with this birthday tribute!